In - Spirit
I'm all blocked up. I'm having the hardest time getting loose enough, free enough, to dream up my stories. Nothing is coming easy and free.
Free and easy.
Some people eat their feelings. I was getting fat again as it is. Can't do that again. The one benefit of my current situation is the shape that I'm getting into.
Some people cover it all up, drown it with drugs and booze. I can't do that anymore. I freak the fuck out.
The Law of Attraction says to stay positive, stay grateful, and I try. Every night I pray to God; I say "Thank you for my daughter. Thank you for my wife. Please keep them healthy. Please keep them happy. Please keep them safe. Let them shine their light, and shine yours through them, so that they may be a light unto the world."
Then I ask for the same for myself. I could really use a miracle right now, but recognize too that what's most important to me is my family. It's the one thing I've always wanted above all else. A man isn't a man without a family. So I end my prayers with "but give me those first few for my wife and daughter, take care of my family, and we're good."
I'm not religious. I AM spiritual. Every time I've needed a miracle, somehow, some way, it always comes through. It just takes a while.
You don't have to believe what I believe, so long as you believe in something. I believe that God is right where science and soul meet. I don't much trust anyone who doesn't believe in anything. What keeps them honest? What keeps them true? And true to what?
I write my feelings. Then I share them with you. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you feel the same.
Maybe tomorrow will bring a story.
But I've got to go.