BLACK FRIDAY!!!

So today is Black Friday, the day that simultaneously rings in the Christmas season and shows what a disgusting materialistic consumer driven society we live in. I would rather have this girl blow my..... I'd have her shoot me in the face before I got caught out in the crowds at the stores too.

Just look at this mess down here. What part of any of that do you really want? I'd honestly prefer to spend the extra cash than to have to deal with that, unless I was smashed up against that chick in the grey sweatshirt down there. Nice rack! But it's no wonder people get trampled to death at Walmart in this kind of mayhem, after all, we value "our stuff" over human life anyway, don't we? There's a Christmas message for ya!

I might wait in line like that for Monique Alexander down there. In fact, that's all I want for Xmas. Don't you love how her backside sticks out like that, you can rest your egg nog on there. I think she's gotten implants recently, that's too bad. She didn't need them.

Monique Alexander

Check out the look on the faces of those women piling into Target. They're not happy to be shopping, enjoying themselves, they're just ecstatic that they've survived this long and praying that they can move into the store fast enough to stay ahead of the stampede. What a disaster!

On the other hand, there's nothing disastrous about Shera Bechard, Playboy's Miss November 2010. Sugar Plums may be dancing in YOUR head, whatever the hell a sugar plum is.... I say keep your damn plums, give me the sugar baby!

Shera Bechard Miss November 2010

Look at this poor bastard right here. We've all been there, haven't we guys? And we all know exactly what's going through his head too, don't we. "What the fuck is she buying now?!"
 

I have absolutely no idea who the hell Shinta Bachir is, but somewhere in the 6 hours that you're standing on line next to some sweaty animal that's slurping on chicken bones and throwing them at your feet so that you can be buying some bullshit that no one really needs for people you don't even really like, I'll be looking into it. Thanks.
 

Shinta Bachir

The look of confusion here is priceless. None of these women have any idea of what the hell is going on here. One thing we DO know though, another summer of their fat kids sitting in the house getting fatter while they play with the crap in your arms lies waiting. Just don't get pissed at me when no one likes them because they're too putrid to socialize.

Decisions, decisions. As long as she stays down there.... I think she's made the right one. Nice dress and thanks for the show! Do you do private parties? Its on my list for Santa.
 

Quick, which one has the stupidest look on their face? I can't say I've ever seen anyone get so excited over fuckin bed sheets! If the one in the front waits a bit I'm sure I can give her something a little better to get more excited over... you two in the back are on your own though. Did one of them trip the blond? She looks like she's going down, and not in that same super awesome way as the chick up above.

I love Kate Beckinsale, man. She's still sexy. My favorite role of hers was in Much Ado About Nothing (my favorite play by the way) when she played Hero. I've been saying for months now that we need a Hero.... she's just the Hero for me! Who else thinks she should have told Ben Affleck in Pearl Harbor, "You're boy knocked me up, you're beat, now fuck off!"?

Kate Beckinsale

This is the most racist ad I've ever seen. Putting a picture of black guy up there for Black Friday.... I was in this store a few days ago and that picture wasn't there. And it won't be there tomorrow. Some People! I don't know about you, but somewhere in there they lost the point of the terminology.

Rachel Bilson.... I don't know what it is, but I've always been so into her. She was about to make the big jump too until she made the mistake of getting engaged to Hayden Christenen. Not only did he completely ruin Star Wars, but also her career. I guess this is why all those damn chick marriage mags that brain wash women into legalized prostitution preach to always marry up.

Rachel Bilson

I never have underestimated the power of stupid people in large groups.... that's most of the world out there. How else do you explain the success of anything MTV has to offer?

Nice jacket, is that members only? One of the best parts of doing this blog is that I'm constantly finding new ladies to gawk at... and share with my friends. She does fill the clothing nicely though, no?

Estefany Pawtuckett

How horrible are we as a society? Look at all these young kids cheering and smiling while that poor old woman has to fight for her life. She's grabbing on to the dude in front of her, hoping he can drag her through it, all so that she can pick up a little something for her little spoiled brat grand kid at home. And they're going to throw that shit away as soon as she leaves, because whatever she picks, it won't impress the kids friends, and THAT is what Christmas is all about!

Jessie West was in that same store when they shot this. The rabid crowd pushed her up against the wall here, tore her clothes off. If it wasn't for grabbing onto that gold mesh behind her she would have been carried away in the current.

Jessie West

Seriously, if I'm going to waste my time with the horrors of Black Friday, I'm going to do it sitting on my ass, medicated out of my mind, and in the company of the horror greats, Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi

If it does turn out that I need something though, and have to brave the elements, and far worse, the unwashed masses of morons at the mall, you can bet your ass that I'm not throwing myself into the frey without a trained team of gun toting assassins behind me watching my back...

Or maybe you can bet her ass that's how it'll go down. I'll buy that for a dollar. Without the right back up though, I'm not even leaving the house today. Screw that. I've got a video to watch, and I think the drugs are kicking in.

Later People!

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