THE TOUGHEST WOMAN ALIVE!!!

Talk about your dead weeks. I can't remember anything going on that's forced everyone to scream it from the mountain tops, which makes relevant topical conversation pretty difficult, but this is how "credible" news sources like the NY Times end up writing puff pieces about swimming in Rockaway sewage and taco stands serving whatever meat they fished out of it.

At the same time, it gives one a chance to either be creative or pull old shit out of your ass. Sometimes both. With that in mind, this had come up in random conversation on about four separate occasions over the past three days, so I figured I'd show it again here. Is she toughest woman alive? Watch this video and decide for yourself.

In case you don't know, that's one of my five sisters making a perfect block of home plate. She's one of very few women that have ever played in the league, and she's been on the team for years now. First, notice how she makes a near text book block, steps in front, plays the ball, then turns to make the tag. And of course, how this fucking douchebag jumps through her from about five feet.

The video cracks me up on a lot levels, and brings a tear to my eye. First, she stands in there and takes a shot. Then she holds up the ball to show she held on before rolling around the ground in pain. Her knee was completely wrecked as a result here and needed ACL surgery to repair. Then her husband and I argue the play before making sure she's alright. But that's fine, she can take it. I once busted her face all over the place while we both played a pop up, she caught my shoulder right in the grill. She was out there again the next week. And I can't tell you how many times a finger would point in the wrong direction and she'd just pop it back in and get out there.

Well not only did she get right back out there again this season after the knee shredding, but she just started training to enter the Tough Mudder this coming November in New Jersey. It's a 10-12 mile obstacle course developed by the British Special Forces to weed out the men from the boys, but they haven't met my sister. This competition is just insane, there's even a part of the challenge where you have to crawl through live electrical wires, you really have to check it out. Maybe women are supposed to be dainty, not supposed to get down and dirty with the boys, but fuck that! You can never, should never, deny what your soul stirs you to do, and she's a warrior.

The truth is, and this is just my lead in paying homage to all women everywhere, that the toughest, the strongest people in my life have always been women. I didn't have many positive male role models growing up, which could be why I turned into such an over the top guys guy, but the ladies always had to get down and dirty because they didn't have any other choice, mostly because the "men" in their lives handed them the shit end of the stick. And they came through. They had to. You show me a single mother (the kind that take care of their kids, not the ones having more for a bigger welfare check, not the ones looking for some dude with money to bail them out of their shit) or a woman fighting to live her dream and I'll show you a hero.

BUT.... that's also why chicks piss me off so much when they do the dopey shit that they do. With guys I expect it to happen. There are two things that I can guarantee about the clown in the video, one is that if it were me back there he never would have attempted to run through the plate that way (I taught offensive and defensive line for years, good luck with that), and two, this fuckin douche has a hot girlfriend.

The entire "women love bad boys" deal is a complete and total myth to anyone that knows social psychology and the real reasons behind why we do the shit that we do. People are great at justifying the stupid shit that they get themselves into so that they can live with themselves, and the "bad boy" image is just a way for chicks to justify why they're chasing after some asshole who doesn't give a fuck about them either way, specifically because he doesn't give a fuck about them either way, and they NEED to make him give a fuck; The same kind of cocksmith that would run down a woman at home plate. That my friends, is all about percieved value, which we'll get into another time, but it is scientfic fact, not my opinion. Don't get pissy if you do it either, educate yourself, and stop being a dopey broad.

Back to the homage, and speaking of women who I think are absolutley fuckin fantastic, way back in January of 2010 I did an interview with Dominique of Comics Period when I was still doing my weekly podcast, Deez Nutz! The show got to be too serious, which I hope to avoid here, but this interview was GREAT!

A few days ago I was talking about why you have to be passionate about what you're doing in order to be successful, and that was my very first impression of her from the interview. The quality of her work speaks for itself and since then she appears to have blown up, which I couldn't love more because she deserves it. She wrote a piece about her first experience at the San Diego Comicon, SDCC the first time around which you should check out. I've wanted to go there for as long as I can remember, but for now all I could do is see it through her eyes.

What would be really interesting to me would be for us to re-listen to that interview and see how much of what she had talked about happened the way she had hoped.

One of the many things you have to do when blogging is to constantly find ways to get your work noticed, so you keep track of who's looking and how they're finding your page. Well, some odd things pop up here and there. The picture up top is from Bikini Girls on Ice from BGOI Films. Somehow people were finding my page from their site and so I had to check it out. Both of these sites are just sick, seriously, they look great with some kick ass effects, so even if you're just into web design you should check them out. So when I got to the page I see chicks in bikini's getting hacked up... OF COURSE I'M IN!!! But if you check out the trailor it actually looks pretty fuckin good.

In doing this piece I had to notice that I seem to have a bit of a Jekyl and Hyde personality when it comes to the ladies. On one hand, very often I'm tearing them apart with all of the horrible things that they do or completely objectifying them in a sexual manner. As a society it seems all we ever hear about anymore, at least the stories that get out there on a mass scale, are women running around acting like skanks and whores or JLo's 8th husband. And every single last example of every woman I've had in my dating life has been as if it came straight out of a manual for reasons why chicks deserve to end up with assholes and treated like shit.

On the other hand, pretty much everything that I've shown off in this spot, links and shouts and everything else, has been for women. That wasn't done by design and certainly not trying to get with any of them (something I've long ago stopped bothering with), but because these were people that were doing things I'm really into and thought I could help. And when it comes to my family and friends, I could never hope to have anyone better in my life than the ladies that I do. I guess what it really shows is the disparity between how truly great and terrible women can be and the many reasons for it.

I can't and won't appologize for talking about (or showing) tits and ass ("Hugo Posh isn't just tits, he isn't just ass... well... Hugo Posh is those things..."), afterall, I AM a guys guy, and I love tits, and I love ass.

But what I'd really like is to hear from all you, as comments on this post, or comments on the facebook links, some more great stories about the toughest, or the best, women that are or have been in your life.

So today wasn't Crazy Asshole me, to be honest I've felt like shit the last few days and all that ranting takes its share of energy. I could use someone to pick me up, dust me off, kick me in the ass and get me back out there.

Back home we call that a good woman.

Later People!

You Can't Argue With an Idiot!

That's what my Uncle always used to tell me. You can't argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Though it could be put just as easily that you shouldn't argue with the ignorant. Now, I grew up with nothing, had nothing for most of my life, but I've been lucky enough to have a great deal of experiences, first hand, that have changed my perspective on how I look at things. The truth of the matter is though, nothing that I know means a thing, because I still have nothing, and as this video here will prove, people will only listen to others that they think have a certain amount of authority over them.

For a good chunk of my life I was stuck surrounded by the type of jackass that never knew shit about shit, never had an experience outside of their own neighborhood, never had to know the fear of choosing between paying the rent or eating, and on the rare occasion they did go somewhere outside of their own backyard, it would be to a Cancun resort, or a spring break. Staying at a hotel at a beach does not a world traveler make, no matter where that beach is. The problem is that every single other jackass they encounter in their life is that same kind of jackass, doesn't know shit about shit, never been out there in the real world, so they encourage each other into the belief that this is how it is. And they're the SHIT! Because they're too stupid, or sheltered, or inexperienced to know otherwise. Sound familiar?

Yeah, a good portion of my life was like living in an episode of Jersey Shore. The people I was surrounded by were exactly this sort of retard (And if you like that shit, guess what....). I once knew a guy that swore everything in the world, ever, was invented in Italy. But when you're not part of Club Special Ed, but still feel compelled to shine a little light on these fucktards, it will cause nothing but problems for you. Take 3 morons that have no clue about anything other than what goes on inside of that bag pulled over their heads, but have them agree with one another, and soon they'll be tearing you apart; you're the fucking idiot no matter what the facts say. This is the same exact shit that kept the earth flat, the sun revolving around the earth, Black's 3/5 a person and Jews the reason for the downfall of man everywhere for centuries. Why couldn't that bag over their heads be plastic?

But what brings this on today isn't the fuckin mental midgets that a lot of us have to escape before we're ever able to find acceptance, success or real happiness. No, what brings this on is another animal, one possibly far worse, and by that I mean pseudo-intellectual Brooklynites. Not the ones born and raised in Bed-Sty or Bensonhurst, but the ones transplanted from whatever white boy world they came from to be as "cool" as they want to be. Of course, they could be Manhattanites too, or transplanted to Boston or Philly, what have you, it's all the same. I'm talking about those hipster clowns (Funny, hipsters... they all swear they're not hipsters....). The ones who gather from their small corners and come together (because they really all do settle in the same trendy areas) to stroke each other and call themselves New Yorkers because they've lived here for a short time, all the while looking down on the natives as if we're all that fucking idiot from the Jersey Shore.



I had spoken earlier about Cockblocking Momos, and when I went to share something in the article I saw that this had been posted about surfing at Rockaway Beach by the exact kind of jackass I was just going on about. It brought me back to a previous conversation where I had to explain why surfing at Rockaway Beach was one of the nastiest things that I've ever heard. I've lived within a 15 minute ride of that Beach for most of my life, and most people who have know exactly how disgusting and polluted that water is. To make a long story short, my friend Michelle put it best when she said "I wouldn't take a SHIT in that water". The response I got to my warning was a posting from the NYC board of health stating the beaches were clean.

I've never been to Blarney Castle to kiss the Blarny Stone, but I've heard from several reliable sources that would know much more than I do that one of the great gags of the area is that some of the local townsfolk often like to get loaded and piss all over the thing in the middle of the night, knowing that tourists are coming in to touch their lips to it. How true that is I don't know, but do you honestly think an area that bases a large portion of their economy on you kissing the back end of their rocks for luck would ever want you to find out that Townie Fuckface and his five brothers have a regular Friday night circle jerk all over their stone of destiny? That kind of news getting out would ruin them.

And by the same principal, is the New York City board of health going to tell millions of people during the hottest days of the year that their beaches are too filthy and polluted to go near? Ah, take a nice swim at the beach (warning, sand covered in aids syringes and the water could give you cancer). FUCK NO they wouldn't, that shit causes riots and mass hysteria. That sort of news is only released when there's no other choice, when it's right out there and noticeable, which incidentally, has happened several times over the years at Rockaway Beach.

But surely if an article is in the New York times (the most credible news source of all because they NEVER make up their own facts) then it must be true, right? Articles written by writers who aren't from around here about people from Japan doing what very few that actually grew up near that beach would even DARE is all the proof one needs. I guess I don't know what I'm talking about after all.

I still have nothing, nothing but this blog, you good fans, and a degree in Social Science, which qualifies me to speak about these exact things. But even the points I make on matters I've studied extensively meet the toughest resistance from even my closest friends, because as Milgrim said, I don't appear to be coming from a position of authority, so what the fuck do I know?

But take this lesson from the once great Chevy Chase on why you should ALWAYS listen to other people who may know more about certain things from real life experience and the consequences of thinking you know more than they do

 You could end up with balls in your mouth. You'd be lucky if that's all it is.

The bottom line though is that fighting with these people will only give you a headache and possibly drive you to the top of a bell tower. They'll never learn because they really don't want to, there's comfort in thinking you know everything, even when you don't know shit at all. And much like proving the earth is round, showing them and forcing them to believe it can be a monumental task that leaves your life in shambles.

Then again.... the greatest leaps forward in the history of man have come from proving the idiots wrong.

Just don't waste your time or energy on them, getting caught up in the fight.

Later People!