COCKBLOCKING MOMO'S!!!

If you're a dirty old man, and I am, you have to check out the movie Sucker Punch. I rented it last night and it really surprised me, coming in as a strange mix between "The Secret" and Alice in Wonderland. You know that I don't get too into telling you the entire movie when I'm describing them, but there were three storylines interacting following five smoking hot chicks. The way they transitioned between each was brilliant as was their use of camera angles. A lot of it reminded me of Hitchcock scenes where he would set the camera at one angle and really focus your eye on what your were supposed to be looking at. Then they'd cue the music and entire sections seemed like watching a music video that still somehow managed to tell the tale of the tape. And if that wasn't enough, they'd jump you into a great action sequence full of blood, mayhem, and hotties slashing and shooting. I don't know how no one has told me about this, but you should definitely check it out as a rental.

COCKBLOCKING MOMO'S

The flick got me thinking about a chick that I had been sleeping with a while back now because it was something I'm sure she'd really dig, and that got me thinking on an entirely different path. I'm pretty sure the two of us hate each other now; I was never anything more than cheap sex, she never had any intention of getting to know me (I feel so USED), and when she was done with that, she was done with me. I can't complain too much, my birthday was HOT, and that last time I really had her going. But along the way she picked up a MOMO exactly like Tucker from There's Something About Mary.

Every guy has had to deal with a clown like this at one time or another (unless you were the clown), you know the one, constantly full of shit just to kiss her ass, pretending to be into all the same shit she is, always doing whatever they can to make you look bad... all in the name of trying to get between the two of you, and trying to get with her himself, all the while keeping up the appearance that he's just the innocent friend looking out for her best interests. I had caught this clown several times making the most ridiculous statements that showed how full of shit he really was. It had gotten to the point where anytime I said anything to her at all, even after our talking slowed to a death crawl, the jackass would still feel compelled to one up me.

We all know that you can't point these things out to your lady friend. She'll take the "friends" side over yours every time, even when she knows you're right. And why wouldn't she? He's buying her tickets and taking her out to all the things she wants to do without having to ask and she never has to give up the ass to get it. Then she can get cocked by Dirty Big Dick on the side whenever she wants without having to justify anything she's doing to anyone, especially to herself. It's win-win for her everytime. You end up being just some jealous prick who's trying to control her. (That's one of my personal favorites actually, if you don't like like the idea of her running around with other dudes, you're trying to control her. WTF? )

But guess what pal, we all also know that it's never going to work. The minute she feels she has to give it up to get your bullshit, she's moving on to that next son of a bitch. You won't be bending her over (if she were into you like that, you wouldn't have to sling the shit you've been dealing), and all you do is fuck up my shit. And if, after months of ass kissing and buddy buddy bullshit, you still feel threatened by a guy who barely has anything to do with her... well that's a personal issue you need to look into. And that issue is this... you may not be gay, but... YOU'RE A FUCKIN FAGGOT!

For anyone looking for an explanation of what a MOMO is, because I'll be using it a lot, that last line pretty much sums it up.

There was more I wanted to get into on this, but the rant has gone on long enough so we'll leave it for later. But be sure to follow these points to stay out of this mess...

1. If you're girl has picked up a MOMO, dump her, dump her fast
2. If you're too into her to can her ass, ignore MOMO, he's just a harmless douche
3. Keep giving her the good cock
4. Silly Whoes collect MOMO'S. Real women do for themselves, they don't need some jackass kissing their ass, buying them shit, or playing games. Not having some weasel clinging on to them like a dingleberry hanging from an ass hair is worth whatever price they have to pay to them to do it on their own.
5. Ladies, be a real woman, not a Silly Whoe.
6. Guys, be a REAL MAN, not a fuckin MOMO
7. DON'T BE A FUCKIN FAGGOT, MOMO!

And finally, I promised you yesterday I'd post the video of Hideki Irabu charging the plate if I can find it. Well Scotty found it for me with a nice little bonus, The Strawman punching someone in the face. SO here you go.

Remember, you can't do Abs in 6 minutes. You can barely break a sweat in 6 minutes.

Don't get yourself caught in a Jersey Truck stop.

Later people!