Attraction is NOT a choice, Jello Wrastlin and controlling the frame....

This past week I've been listening to audiobooks while I'm at work, ripped through three this week. It's pretty awesome to be honest; I love to read but its hard to find the time. Now I feel like I read all day and get paid for it.

I just finished "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists" by Neil Strauss. It's depressing really, but what an incredible book. Basing an entire life on creating an illusion of greatness for other people will lead to an empty life every time. Sadder still, the game that these guys run works. Attraction is not a choice. And women cheat on their husbands and boyfriends at an alarming rate. Knowing that all it takes is a carefully constructed plan of action intermingled with some cheap parlor tricks wrapped up in a nice shirt and a smile makes it all the more ridiculous.

On the bright side, its all much clearer to me now that sex and relationships occupy two completely different slots in a woman's world. A woman will sleep with just about any guy that can make life seem like an adventure for a while. It takes something more to keep her. The terrifying part for the guy that wants to keep her is that she'll still go on an adventure from time to time.

I just heard more stories about chicks with boyfriends asking some guy she just met that night in a club to pop off in her mouth in the last three days than I ever wanted to hear in a lifetime. Of course, it doesn't help that it smacks right against my #1 fear.

My three worst fears in this order

1. Falling in love, getting married, having a few kids.... then finding out the kids aren't mine.
2. The prison rape scene in American History X
3. Ball Cancer

I encountered real life stories of two of the three just this week.... one of those stories was from a friend of mine who took it. Now I don't feel right even joking about it anymore. But.... I have a new hero.

Speaking of friends, my buddy Phatdaddy told me the other day that though it may sound strange because we haven't actually seen each other in fifteen years, he still feels the same about me as ever, that we're as close now at heart as we were back then.

I'm of the mind that relationships are eternal, that loves and friendships really do last forever; if it were up to me I'd still have every single person I once called a friend in my life. Some people just click so well together that fifty years can pass and they'll pick up right where they left off, as if no time has passed at all. And as if to prove it, my buddy Mike invited me to Jell-O Wrestling at the Double Down Saloon Saturday night, we hadn't seen each other in seventeen years and sure enough, it was like hanging with him in school all over again.

Funny, most of my friends are like that, the eternal type, the type that I'd click with after fifty years like nothing happened. You'll hear their names often, Scotty, Matt, Mike, Walt, Thaddeus, Phatdaddy, The Man... they're often contributors to this space and probably reading this. Give me ten of them over a hundred of those fake ass, fair weather turds any day. You know what you can do with that kind....

And that Jello wrestling was THE SHIT! Seriously, I've never experienced anything like that before. There was one pin fall in particular where a young lady with a nice body sat on her opponents chest and lay down, ala 69, and gave those of us in the right spot the full spread. EPIC!

That doesn't even get into the gorgeous woman in her underwear dancing in the window or the porn playing above the bar. It was just my kind of place, made all the better by good people and good friends. The wrastlin was a benefit for breast cancer; they were demonstrating how important it is to save breasts. Who doesn't love breasts? Even the ladies love breasts!

One nugget I came away with this week is that, whatever you have to say about him, Tom Cruise is THE MAN! Its his world and everyone else lives in it. Answer the poll to the right, because I'm curious about what you think. In NLP we have something we call framing, or the frame, which means the scope through which you see the world. Visualize a picture frame and the picture that's inside of it. If that were a window and you were watching things unfold, what's happening? The person that's in control of that scene, the one decides what's happening in that picture, they control the frame. The way the see things is the way its happening and everyone else has to fit it. It's their world and we live in it.

Most people react to how everyone else sees the world. Alpha's, all alpha's, male or female, business men or pick up artists, priests or politicians, slobs or movie stars, what sets them apart from the rest is how they look at that picture of the world; they control the frame. Tom Cruise is an alpha among alpha's without even trying. He always controls the frame. That's what makes him the man, its his world, his reality, and everyone else just lives in it, has to fit in.

One more thing I learned.....

We're all movie stars.... even the slobs.

We're all slobs.... especially the movie stars.

Later People!

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King of the Crazy Asshole's and the Planet of the Apes

Rise of the Planet of the Apes, or the true life story of why people suck, really surprised me this weekend. With the combination of how Hollywood destroys every old classic it can get it's hands on, and how much James Franco sucks balls (pretty much everything he's in blows), I was expecting this to suck more Tera Patrick on a quest for an AVN award. But it was really a very solid movie all around. The only real knock I have against it is, unless San Francisco is the world's capital for chimp experimentation, an Ape Auswitch if you will, where they got all the damn apes that are running around is a mystery. Still though, the acting was solid, good action when it needed it, with a well done storyline built on a premise that could actually make sense if it were to happen in real life. Had I seen this at home on video I probably would have thought it was great, but as it is, especially if you're a fan of the five original films, I think this is something worth checking out. Even with theatre prices I enjoyed my experience. (Click the AVN link, it's HOT!)

This one's going to be a little different today.

Last week I went on about the movie Sucker Punch, and how much I was really into that flik. Well it seems that it wasn't done with me, and taught me a valuable lesson. When I went to return the video to the Red Box (what's not to love about Red Box) there was a couple looking for something to watch. As I stood waiting, the DVD in my hand, I pointed the movie out to the guy and told him "if you're into trippy shit, check this one out."

Now, from a social dynamics point of view I did everything right if you want to open a set. If you follow the notion that 'what's in the way IS the way', you have to start talking to the biggest pain in the ass there, and once they accept you you've got easy access to their friends. So once this guy sees I'm just talking about a flik and not making a move on his girl, sure enough he lets her and I get into it, and sure enough she's looking at me like she wants to take me behind the dumpster and, uh....  

(I highly suggest you read The Mystery Method, written by master Pick Up Artist Mystery. I've had to read a lot on social dynamics and why we choose they people we do in our lives, but this is by far the best of them. Everything he talks about is 1000% scientifically based and backed, and is proven to work most of the time)

Master PUA Mystery.

Don't let the hat fool you,

this guy's a god damned genius!

But the truth is, I wasn't thinking about any of that. It was just something that I happened to enjoy so much that my passion took over and I was able to sell them on the flik because I wasn't trying to sell them anything at all. I wasn't being full of shit, I was genuinely psyched to be able to share something with complete strangers because of how much I loved it, and it was all completely natural, free and easy.

AND THAT'S WHERE IT HIT ME! Most of the time when we need people to buy into what we're doing, whatever the situation, selling yourself to a girl you're trying to pick up, bringing in customers to a business, come see my show, buy my album, listen to my podcast, read my blog, yada yada yada, we're so concerned with the end result, with getting what we want out of them, that that becomes our focus rather than how great we actually think the thing we're showing them is. And because of that it all seems forced and unnatural, like pulling teeth. What person in their right mind is going to invest any of their time, money or back end goodies into anything that you made sound awkward and painful? NOBODY!!!

For nearly two years I've been struggling to get my books VPI the Saga Begins and A Loaded Portrait, two excellent books that you'd really enjoy if you read this blog, to sell without any clue of what I've been doing wrong. But what's the biggest selling point to anything? What has gotten you, far beyond any other factor, to check out new things that you never would have considered before?

It's some random jackass telling you "That shit was GREAT! You NEED to see this shit!" so full of passion that you can see their eyes light up, and they're so excited, so into it that you start to get pumped up for it yourself. And when something resonates with you so strongly, like a film from the red box, that you get that pumped to tell people about it, even though it's not your work and you have nothing to gain.... well, that's the exact effect we're all going for isn't it? That's where stars are born. And that's why every success guru in all the land will tell you that the number one thing that every person must have in order to "make it" is pure unbridled passion for what they're doing. Because how can you get anyone else so pumped about what you do if you don't feel that way about it yourself?

And that brings me to myself, this blog, and you. For most of my life I've been worried if I'd ever find my audience, ever find my group of people, find where I fit in. I've always been confident in my ability to write, but never in getting others to hear what I had to say. Most of my life everyone around has dismissed me, "You're just a crazy asshole."

In the short time that I've been doing this, however, I've come to realize how much I love to do so. And though the audience to now has been small, many of you have told me that you look forward to it every day. As an artist, I don't know what greater praise one can ever receive. Maybe I am just a Crazy Asshole, but I've come to embrace that, and many of you have told me how much you think along the same lines as I do. So the lesson is this... don't worry about where you fit in, who you're allowed to play with, that will only get you a boatload of wasted talent, low self esteem and heartache. BE a Crazy Asshole, and other like asshole's will find you. But always do your thing regardless of the critics, then you start you're own group.

And please tell people about this page, but only if you love it as much as I do.

As long as I have a handful of people looking forward to reading this page, and I enjoy doing, you'll be hearing from me... the King of the Crazy Assholes!

And now I leave you with some Tom Petty, Learning to Fly. It seems fitting.

Later People!