All I know is that I dreamt last night that I finally spent the night with the woman of my dreams, and when I woke up this morning it was 45 minutes late and she wasn't there, but in her place was this indescribable rage
I don't know if its better or worse to know exactly who that person is for you, especially since if you ever actually got with them they wouldn't be the person of your dreams, but your reality. It's almost a never ending kick in the ass. But then, Anthony Robbins used that energy to become what we know of him today. He lived next door to his dream girl, had to watch as she ran off banging one guy after another, guys with money that he didn't have; he was broke.
But that's not it.
Have you ever felt as if you we on a small boat with no sail or oars in the middle of a dead lake, nothing's moving anywhere and nothing you're doing can change that? That's a metaphor for life, of course. That's usually when Jason pops out and drags you under
But this screaming from this anger, whatever it is, wherever it comes from, letting it out, at the end of the day amounts to little more than howling at the moon
Since acting out in that sort of way really gets nothing done except alienate every one you know though, and makes you feel like a total jackass, you might as well be howling at the moon in a clown suit
Do you see what that kind of behavior gets you? And I've long since decided that if I was going to get caught out there having anything to do with clowns, it was going to be this one
Maybe if I'd been dreaming of her instead I'd have woken up with a smile on my face, grabbing my honker! Officially, this in now my favorite clown of all time. If life is just a circus anyway, how do I get into hers?
Times like this require a change in energy, you have to do your best to look at the things you appreciate in your life. For instance, the other night it only cost me $1 to be reminded how much Nicholas Cage sucks
Yeah, Season of the Witch was total horsesh.... hey, I'm trying to stop cursing here..... but then, how the hell did I not see that coming, right?
Thank God for real life Superheroes like Master Legend! You really need to see this. Seriously. You do.
I was first introduced to Master Legend in the documentary Superheroes. There are real life superheroes out there, they walk amongst us. And if you haven't yet had the pleasure, I highly recommend this flik. There are no words to accurately describe it. And I'm almost positive that a certain lady I know parties with the Brooklyn chapter of heroes from time to time. This feeling in my bones almost guarantees it.
And how do I forget my love for The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia? IMPOSSIBLE!!!
Honestly, I tried to sit through this, tried, almost had someone tie me down so I could, but I couldn't get through even 3 minutes of it. It was because they were too ugly. Seriously, that's what did it. But I promise you one day.... one day....
Though I should feel a kinship with these folks. You see, I'm just New York City White Trash, what we call SHANTY! That's a shanty up above. That could be me on that porch. In Broad Channel. That's precisely how I know how nasty it is to surf in the Rockaways. You see, you can't be happy until you accept who you are, embrace it. And now that I have, in the few short moments that it took me to write this, my anger is gone.
And now, my spirits lifted, my soul is free to pursue that woman of my dreams.
In the immortal words of my hero, my Captain... Master Legend....
"When a man's been injured as many times as I have.... he deserves a beer!"
I had finally gotten my hair cut last night after a long time in need and it fell in line with the exact conversation that I had been having just before I left the office, which fell in line with exactly what I'd been saying for months now, and not because the barber butchered my head.
This reminds me of the real reason I play Sir Not Appearing in this High School Yearbook. My sister gave me a haircut that made me look like Brian Bosworth, "The Boz"....
Enough said.
The barber shop that I go too isn't giving me cuts that make the ladies swoon and drop trou at the site of me, just a simple solid job that never makes me look like the clown with the rag wrapped on his face, yet I've been going there for years now.
And why? Because they give me something that The Boz couldn't give the Seattle Seahawks and Feldman couldn't give any of his roles after The Goonies.... and that's VALUE!
ANDY! You... GOONIE!
Actually, if you're a fan of The Goonies you should probably check out that site I linked too.
I talk about it all the time, but it can't be separated, every single human interaction everywhere, everytime comes down to a matter of VALUE. In other words, "How does this make my life better?". If it does, then the people will come, if not, ghost town ladies and gents.
There are three barber shops around the corner from my house, yet I drive a ways away to keep going to my place, just for an average cut. Again, why? Because for $12 I'm always greeted with a handshake and a smile. We talk about women and how to make money, two things that consume most of my mind. I've started to learn the game of soccer sitting there, and at the end, a hot towel cleans the garbage little hairs from my head and clears my sinus', something they don't do anywhere else.
No, there's no Cedric the Entertainer in this place (too bad though, he was funny as hell in that flik), they're a bunch of Russian Jews, but what they do extremely well is, as Henry Ford always said, they show you have much they can give for a dollar as opposed to what they can get out of you for it.
When I lived in Vegas it took me a while to find a barber I got the same good feeling out of, that made me feel I was getting VALUE, making my life better. Then I came upon a small place where an unbelievable Mexican beauty would do the cut, all the while fondling my head and shoving right where I got the full glimpse of her....
No one spoke a word of English in the place, but it didn't matter. All I had to do was utter 4 and 1 and get ready for the show, all for a measely $10. Oh, and she cut my hair too.
Beautiful women have it easy it that sense, without having to think or worry about it when they walk into a room or post something on the net their VALUE speaks for itself. The mistake many of them make is in thinking that the wares that they're showing, outside of a little bathroom material (maybe a little more for those few, those lucky few), provide the rest of us with enough VALUE to make us dip into our pockets to make THEIR lives better without any more effort than showing up. (In many cases they're right)
Life's a party if you're a Hotty
Hold up, the cleavage made me forget where I was going with this.....
OH YEAH! Literally, every single human interaction comes down to the question "How does this person make my life better?" or what value does this person add to my life, even your friends. Just think about that, when people you know get too serious, or they're kind of a drag, you really only put yourself around them when you absolutely have to. But when they're fun to be around you put yourself there every chance you get, and that's the VALUE they bring you, afterall....
You can't put a price on a good time!
Or was that...
Dyn-o-MITE!
Unfortunately, 99% of the world is running around looking at everyone and everything in terms of "How does this make my life better?", how it adds VALUE to THEM. But like my barber, or Henry Ford, success comes when we start to think in terms of "How can I make YOUR life better?"... "How can I add VALUE to YOU?"
But then, if we all thought that way, there would be no greed, no violence, no hatred... the world would be a beautiful place. Speaking of.....
There's an odd energy in the air this morning, and I can't put my finger on exactly what it is, all I know is that something is in the works. If you can, hit play on the video and listen to the theme music while you read today.....
After an entire weekend, sick, stuck in the house, I was getting stir crazy, I had to get out of there, but alas, at 9PM on a Monday night and real football still a ways off there isn't much to do out there. That's life as you get older and most of the people you know are married with kids. Which got me to thinking about all those days when they weren't, or still hung around if they were.
"Is the rain ever going to stop?" I heard from a friend. No, it isn't, Climate Change, baby!
"The economy sucks! When are things going to get better?" Not any time soon, so buckle in. Like I was saying yesterday Inside Why We're... the system is rigged like a Vegas Casino and the house always wins.
"Why can't I find anybody? dating sucks" Yes it does Brett, yes is does. And they're looking for someone to fill their holes, not to fill yours, so accept you might be stuck in that cycle for a while.....
And then it hit me like a Pimp on his bottom whoe
Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name....
I'm never so good as I am when I have that place that I can always go and be surrounded by friends, knock down a few, and laugh about whatever daily nonsense is going on. In high school it was the basement of a couple of friends, you never had to call, just show up. If they weren't home their mom would throw down the keys.
At Oklahoma State it was the house. My buddies moved in during my 2nd semester and we would have parties where a thousand kids would walk through the door by 10:30 and picked up by cops stumbling around, drunk, 3 miles away by the end of the night. It was right across the street from the dorms and though I didn't live there I might as well have; I had my own key.
McCann's in Astoria was good to me for a long time. I think I was in there literally every night for about a year until the party moved somewhere else. You never do so well (and I mean with the ladies) as you do on your home turf, and it's comforting to know you can just show up and someone you can chill with will be there.
And in Vegas, there was Larry's Villa, the strip club with pregnant dancers and meth addicts that I called my bar, and the Garage. All hail the Garage! (Pronounced Gah - Ridge).
Larry's Villa
No matter how old you get you're still always that kid in the tree house, your home made fort, where all the members of the club gather and find sanctuary from the outside world. Once there, even for just a few hours, everything is ok, the world is right again.
We all need our sanctuary's. But where does one go when you no longer have that place? The real beauty the show "Cheers" is that it captured all of that perfectly. It's why we fall in love with things like Seinfeld, Night Court and Married with Children. Its why we fall in love with the bar down the block, even though its a dump and half the customers are passed out with three green teeth. For some of us, the lucky ones of us, that place is our job, and the rest of the world is a cake walk from there. I've been lucky enough to have a few of those. You always look back on them as something that just can't be replaced.
And looking back, at these places, at the people who filled them, and filled us, it isn't something out of a Bruce Springsteen song trying to re-live our glory days... no, it's more akin to your old favorite room, to where the heart is; Home.
I never had that room in my parents house, I always moved around too much to set roots to a place that way, at one point we up and left about every 8 months. It's difficult to find that place in the world where you know exactly who you are and where you fit in like that, which I guess is why my passion has always been for those people in my life. Why once I call you friend, in my heart, you'll always be just as if we were transported back to that place again, that basement, that house, that bar, that gah-ridge.
So where do you go where everybody knows your name? Where is it that they're always glad you came?
Huh huh, he said came!
It's times like this that we need that the most. So grab me a beer and save me a seat. I'll be right there.
With monsoon season still gripping the city and the myterious illness that dropped me like 3rd period French, the weekend was a total washout. For most of it I couldn't help but feel like the people caught in the preview of Hereafter, that Matt Damon flik that no one bothered to watch.
Speaking of Matt Damon, laid up like Sonny Bono after a ski trip I happened to catch the last hour of the documentary "Inside Job". It was really disturbing to see how the world economy got destroyed and how the people responsible are not only right back in power, but stronger than ever. Buckle in folks, cause it's only going to get worse.
I got you, babe!
Between that and the 2005 documentary "Why We Fight", which is another must watch about the Military Industrial Complex, if you really think that the American people have anything at all to do with who or what is running the country, or that the powers that be have your interests in mind or all, that you're even a blip on their radar.... you're kidding yourself.
The amazing thing about all of it is that now that we live in a world where all the information we could possibly want is at our finger tips with a few key words and the wave of a mouse, we've used that power to effectively cut ourselves off from one another and collectively pull the wool over our own eyes. Watch these two videos then tell me if you still think the American government couldn't be responsible for 9/11.
I'm a sucker for pretty much any show where they're saving some failing business, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is one of my favorite, so when I saw Bar Rescue last night on Spike TV I was IN! I couldn't care less whether or not the so called experts they bring in are experts at all. For years my job was to see how small businesses were losing money and show it them, and there's something about doing things right that just makes me hard. This was great in the sense that they give you specific stats most people don't think about that are necessary to achieve if you want success. For instance, successful bars shoot for 70% of their customers to be women, so they cater to bringing women in. It makes perfect sense to anyone that goes bar hopping, if there are chicks in there, the dudes will follow. Once it turns into a sausage party, it's time to bounce. It's a good model for most businesses, get the women, the men will follow. It's no coincidence that movies that really make HUGE money at the box office are the girlie films that chicks go to see with their girlfriends, yet still have enough action to entice their boyfriend to see it too.
But the thing that really gets me with these shows is how disgusting the places they walk into are. If you knew the what nastiness lurks in the not so dark corners of pretty much every place you eat and drink at you'd either be sick to your stomach or feel as invincible as Monty Burns. YES, Invincible!
I've worked in several restaurants in my life and can't tell you how many cooks and chef's didn't wipe their ass or wash their hands after dropping a hot one, then went right out to cook without gloves. I remember a rat the size of my dog once got speared to the wall in the kitchen at the first job I ever had, a Japanese/Korean fusion restaurant in Manhattan that's no longer there. The Chef poked it with his chopsticks and said, "Heh, Mickey" before going back to touching your food with those same chop sticks.
In Vegas I was the office manager of restaurant that's also no longer there. Tony Fuckface, the clever little nickname we had for the chef (possibly the foulest human I've ever met, and I've known some winners) because he looked like Sam Kinison's uglier brother and liked to watch while strangers nailed his much younger wife would host regular after hours orgies in the kitchen... on all the cooking surfaces.
I had spent some time when I first came back clearing out the basement of a rather famous building in Forest Hills, Queens.... it was so disgusting that rats the size of my foot would die at my feet. The only time a rodent will do that is when the place is so infested that it would rather take its chances with you than get eaten alive by its brethren. Well... the food and drink for a particular restaurant that used to be a Beefsteak Charlie's is all stored in that same basement... I absolutely refuse to go in there. Though, I have to say, I get a hearty chuckle when I see the trendy ladies that don't have time for me sitting there ordering off of the sushi menu...
I was going to go so much further with all of this, take it in another direction, but it's all gotten away from me and the ramble has gone on long enough. And now I forgot what I was talking about, so... until next time....
BEWARE THE MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX!!!
Shit... now I'm on the list. If my car mysteriously crashes.....
At least I'm on someone's list.
If you don't know already there have been riots going on in London for about a week now. While I haven't looked far enough into it to find out what caused it all, it DID bring about this article on why, socially, we've gotten ourselves into this position in the first place. The article is written about the English, but everything he says can and does apply to why we're screwed in the United States also. Simply put, it's the best article I've ever read.
The biggest point he hits, towards the end of the article (aside from what my buddy Mike, who sent me the article, says is the best term he's ever heard to describe low lives; Feral Humans), is that at the root of the problem is that we have no Ethos.
Joseph Campbell, who was the world's authority on comparative religion, not only explained but showed, that every religion across the Earth, EVER, was essentially exactly the same, teaching the same exact lessons. And those lessons were taught through bible stories and mythology, ritual dance and so on. The point of all of it was to teach us how to be adults, and how to get by in a tough world when our mentors were no longer here to guide us.
25 years ago, in a television interview which later became the book "The Power of Myth", Campbell stated that the problem we have is that "We have no Ethos, or way of doing things" and the closest thing we have to mythology are movies and comic books. If you read this blog on a regular basis you know what trash most movies are these days.
I had read "The Power of Myth" just before the ex took off on me in the middle of the night, and that book probably saved my life. But beyond that, that was the book that started me on my spiritual and psychological journey towards Personal Performance Consulting (yeah, I like that!) But that term, Ethos, the way we do things, stuck with me, ringing in my head over and over again over the years.
John Wayne was once the ideal of what it was to be an American man. As the story goes, he was such a symbol of what it was to be American that Jospeh Stalin actually sent the KGB to assinate him, figuring his death would be a crushing blow to American morale. He escaped Soviet agents.... twice. I had never met my mother's father, but between my parents and my uncles I was surrounded by John Wayne so much that until I was about 7 years old I actually thought he was my grandfather. That goes a long way towards explaining why I have the attitude that I do in regards to what it is to be a man, like generations of Americans before me, I thought that was how it was done, he was my example.
But John Wayne famously said that "A man's got to have a code, something to live by" speaking about the importance of having personal standards to hold oneself to. And it doesn't take much more than sitting through five minutes of MTV to see that those standards simply don't exist anymore. We have no standards. We hold ourselves up to nothing.
Just like with Joseph Campbell, I tend to bring up Anthony Robbins quite often. Simply, they know what they're talking about. In his book Unlimited Power, Robbins talks about the 7 essential character traits that every person needs in order to be successful at anything in life. One of those is value, and by that he means a list of things that are most important to you. But when you ask people to make that list of these things, more often than not the way that they live their lives is directly in conflict with what's most important to them. For instance, a woman may state that the most important thing to her is a loving home and family, yet when she dates, the men she chooses aren't the type you can settle down with. And then we wonder why we're so unhappy.
And until recently I had been doing the exact same thing without realizing it. I wasn't holding myself up to my own standards, which I thought were pretty lofty. As it turns out, that's not the case at all; it's that others have none at all. Or the ones that they have are twisted.
But if you think it's bad in England where they're having hoodlums riot, it's far worse over here. Someone I used to know, who's actually from England, was talking about how they wanted to see the upcoming film Immortals. The film is based on Greek Mythology, which is still taught in schools over there. This person couldn't believe it when I told them that they haven't taught that in schools in the US in my lifetime. Of course, this same person, who is a talented artist, later tried to put me down based on what I currently do for a living because their career as a graphic designer was more "professional" than my pushing papers.
The picture that you see above you was taken from the board of my classroom from the very first lesson that I had ever given as an English teacher. If you can read what's on the picture, I had on the board The Knight's Code, an ideal of chivalry taken from a distant past that speaks to how nobel folks are expected to act. This was the standard that I expected my students to uphold in my classroom, and I hoped that it would somehow carry over into the rest of their lives.
When I walked into that classroom most of my students reading and writing comprehension scores were in the 30%. They were keeping up with the Kardashians, could tell you everything about them, people that are famous for exactly.... shit, I don't know, but never saw old Rod Serling Twilight Zone episodes, never saw Casablanca, the greatest love story ever told. The kids could tell you everything about the Jersey Shore, but couldn't write a paragraph describing what they did the night before. The girls would sing all the lines to whatever new hip-hop song they were into, but didn't understand the lyrics enough to see that the singer was actually calling the very same girls listening to the song whores, or understand enough to know that if you walk through the streets projecting that image, then that's exactly what people will think of you, and eventually exactly what you would become. And we aren't even talking about inner city kids here, these were white kids from good families.
So I broke them down and showed them the better parts of life, or trIed to. I had them read Poe, O'Henry and others, forced them to show me that they understood what they were reading, find the deeper meaning in what's out there (Incidentally, we only use 30% of the vocabulary that Poe used in the 1840's. We literally are 70% stupider). When I left that classroom only 1 student was reading and writing below the 60%, and he didn't do a damn thing all year. I made 21K that year to do so, the lowest salary I had brought home since my first job at 20 years old.
As a reward for my work, the principal threatened to sue me twice, once over a matter of another male teacher allowing his 13 year old female students to lay across his desk in their skirts at lunch time without other adults present. And I was told that I couldn't handle the students. I vowed never to teach again.
My point in telling that story is to illustrate how screwed we really are. Even when we see the issues at hand we're not allowed to do anything about it. We're not allowed set those standards we lack and teach or expect others to follow them. And should we try, we're the ones examples are made of, in all the wrong ways possible.
Which brings us back to the Brit. While this person does have a professional job, and is talented, how many business logo's would they have to design in order to match the impact that I had by teaching even one of my students HOW TO READ? How many marketing flyers are required to have the same effect of even one of these kids taking that Knights Code to heart and actually becoming a better person in life?
Yet socially, the way people look at things these days, the Brit is exactly right, they're a professional and I'm a broken puke and a loser. What makes the difference is how much money you make and how cool other people with no standards who can barely read think your work is. So even when we do attempt to uphold standards, even when we follow an Ethos, a way of doing things, what standards are they we're living up to? Is the way we do things these days even close to they way they SHOULD be done?
It doesn't matter. And do you know why?
Cause Snooki want smoosh smoosh!
Talk about your dead weeks. I can't remember anything going on that's forced everyone to scream it from the mountain tops, which makes relevant topical conversation pretty difficult, but this is how "credible" news sources like the NY Times end up writing puff pieces about swimming in Rockaway sewage and taco stands serving whatever meat they fished out of it.
At the same time, it gives one a chance to either be creative or pull old shit out of your ass. Sometimes both. With that in mind, this had come up in random conversation on about four separate occasions over the past three days, so I figured I'd show it again here. Is she toughest woman alive? Watch this video and decide for yourself.
In case you don't know, that's one of my five sisters making a perfect block of home plate. She's one of very few women that have ever played in the league, and she's been on the team for years now. First, notice how she makes a near text book block, steps in front, plays the ball, then turns to make the tag. And of course, how this fucking douchebag jumps through her from about five feet.
The video cracks me up on a lot levels, and brings a tear to my eye. First, she stands in there and takes a shot. Then she holds up the ball to show she held on before rolling around the ground in pain. Her knee was completely wrecked as a result here and needed ACL surgery to repair. Then her husband and I argue the play before making sure she's alright. But that's fine, she can take it. I once busted her face all over the place while we both played a pop up, she caught my shoulder right in the grill. She was out there again the next week. And I can't tell you how many times a finger would point in the wrong direction and she'd just pop it back in and get out there.
Well not only did she get right back out there again this season after the knee shredding, but she just started training to enter the Tough Mudder this coming November in New Jersey. It's a 10-12 mile obstacle course developed by the British Special Forces to weed out the men from the boys, but they haven't met my sister. This competition is just insane, there's even a part of the challenge where you have to crawl through live electrical wires, you really have to check it out. Maybe women are supposed to be dainty, not supposed to get down and dirty with the boys, but fuck that! You can never, should never, deny what your soul stirs you to do, and she's a warrior.
The truth is, and this is just my lead in paying homage to all women everywhere, that the toughest, the strongest people in my life have always been women. I didn't have many positive male role models growing up, which could be why I turned into such an over the top guys guy, but the ladies always had to get down and dirty because they didn't have any other choice, mostly because the "men" in their lives handed them the shit end of the stick. And they came through. They had to. You show me a single mother (the kind that take care of their kids, not the ones having more for a bigger welfare check, not the ones looking for some dude with money to bail them out of their shit) or a woman fighting to live her dream and I'll show you a hero.
BUT.... that's also why chicks piss me off so much when they do the dopey shit that they do. With guys I expect it to happen. There are two things that I can guarantee about the clown in the video, one is that if it were me back there he never would have attempted to run through the plate that way (I taught offensive and defensive line for years, good luck with that), and two, this fuckin douche has a hot girlfriend.
The entire "women love bad boys" deal is a complete and total myth to anyone that knows social psychology and the real reasons behind why we do the shit that we do. People are great at justifying the stupid shit that they get themselves into so that they can live with themselves, and the "bad boy" image is just a way for chicks to justify why they're chasing after some asshole who doesn't give a fuck about them either way, specifically because he doesn't give a fuck about them either way, and they NEED to make him give a fuck; The same kind of cocksmith that would run down a woman at home plate. That my friends, is all about percieved value, which we'll get into another time, but it is scientfic fact, not my opinion. Don't get pissy if you do it either, educate yourself, and stop being a dopey broad.
Back to the homage, and speaking of women who I think are absolutley fuckin fantastic, way back in January of 2010 I did an interview with Dominique of Comics Period when I was still doing my weekly podcast, Deez Nutz! The show got to be too serious, which I hope to avoid here, but this interview was GREAT!
A few days ago I was talking about why you have to be passionate about what you're doing in order to be successful, and that was my very first impression of her from the interview. The quality of her work speaks for itself and since then she appears to have blown up, which I couldn't love more because she deserves it. She wrote a piece about her first experience at the San Diego Comicon, SDCC the first time around which you should check out. I've wanted to go there for as long as I can remember, but for now all I could do is see it through her eyes.
What would be really interesting to me would be for us to re-listen to that interview and see how much of what she had talked about happened the way she had hoped.
One of the many things you have to do when blogging is to constantly find ways to get your work noticed, so you keep track of who's looking and how they're finding your page. Well, some odd things pop up here and there. The picture up top is from Bikini Girls on Ice from BGOI Films. Somehow people were finding my page from their site and so I had to check it out. Both of these sites are just sick, seriously, they look great with some kick ass effects, so even if you're just into web design you should check them out. So when I got to the page I see chicks in bikini's getting hacked up... OF COURSE I'M IN!!! But if you check out the trailor it actually looks pretty fuckin good.
In doing this piece I had to notice that I seem to have a bit of a Jekyl and Hyde personality when it comes to the ladies. On one hand, very often I'm tearing them apart with all of the horrible things that they do or completely objectifying them in a sexual manner. As a society it seems all we ever hear about anymore, at least the stories that get out there on a mass scale, are women running around acting like skanks and whores or JLo's 8th husband. And every single last example of every woman I've had in my dating life has been as if it came straight out of a manual for reasons why chicks deserve to end up with assholes and treated like shit.
On the other hand, pretty much everything that I've shown off in this spot, links and shouts and everything else, has been for women. That wasn't done by design and certainly not trying to get with any of them (something I've long ago stopped bothering with), but because these were people that were doing things I'm really into and thought I could help. And when it comes to my family and friends, I could never hope to have anyone better in my life than the ladies that I do. I guess what it really shows is the disparity between how truly great and terrible women can be and the many reasons for it.
I can't and won't appologize for talking about (or showing) tits and ass ("Hugo Posh isn't just tits, he isn't just ass... well... Hugo Posh is those things..."), afterall, I AM a guys guy, and I love tits, and I love ass.
But what I'd really like is to hear from all you, as comments on this post, or comments on the facebook links, some more great stories about the toughest, or the best, women that are or have been in your life.
So today wasn't Crazy Asshole me, to be honest I've felt like shit the last few days and all that ranting takes its share of energy. I could use someone to pick me up, dust me off, kick me in the ass and get me back out there.
That's what my Uncle always used to tell me. You can't argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Though it could be put just as easily that you shouldn't argue with the ignorant. Now, I grew up with nothing, had nothing for most of my life, but I've been lucky enough to have a great deal of experiences, first hand, that have changed my perspective on how I look at things. The truth of the matter is though, nothing that I know means a thing, because I still have nothing, and as this video here will prove, people will only listen to others that they think have a certain amount of authority over them.
For a good chunk of my life I was stuck surrounded by the type of jackass that never knew shit about shit, never had an experience outside of their own neighborhood, never had to know the fear of choosing between paying the rent or eating, and on the rare occasion they did go somewhere outside of their own backyard, it would be to a Cancun resort, or a spring break. Staying at a hotel at a beach does not a world traveler make, no matter where that beach is. The problem is that every single other jackass they encounter in their life is that same kind of jackass, doesn't know shit about shit, never been out there in the real world, so they encourage each other into the belief that this is how it is. And they're the SHIT! Because they're too stupid, or sheltered, or inexperienced to know otherwise. Sound familiar?
Yeah, a good portion of my life was like living in an episode of Jersey Shore. The people I was surrounded by were exactly this sort of retard (And if you like that shit, guess what....). I once knew a guy that swore everything in the world, ever, was invented in Italy. But when you're not part of Club Special Ed, but still feel compelled to shine a little light on these fucktards, it will cause nothing but problems for you. Take 3 morons that have no clue about anything other than what goes on inside of that bag pulled over their heads, but have them agree with one another, and soon they'll be tearing you apart; you're the fucking idiot no matter what the facts say. This is the same exact shit that kept the earth flat, the sun revolving around the earth, Black's 3/5 a person and Jews the reason for the downfall of man everywhere for centuries. Why couldn't that bag over their heads be plastic?
But what brings this on today isn't the fuckin mental midgets that a lot of us have to escape before we're ever able to find acceptance, success or real happiness. No, what brings this on is another animal, one possibly far worse, and by that I mean pseudo-intellectual Brooklynites. Not the ones born and raised in Bed-Sty or Bensonhurst, but the ones transplanted from whatever white boy world they came from to be as "cool" as they want to be. Of course, they could be Manhattanites too, or transplanted to Boston or Philly, what have you, it's all the same. I'm talking about those hipster clowns (Funny, hipsters... they all swear they're not hipsters....). The ones who gather from their small corners and come together (because they really all do settle in the same trendy areas) to stroke each other and call themselves New Yorkers because they've lived here for a short time, all the while looking down on the natives as if we're all that fucking idiot from the Jersey Shore.
I had spoken earlier about Cockblocking Momos, and when I went to share something in the article I saw that this had been posted about surfing at Rockaway Beach by the exact kind of jackass I was just going on about. It brought me back to a previous conversation where I had to explain why surfing at Rockaway Beach was one of the nastiest things that I've ever heard. I've lived within a 15 minute ride of that Beach for most of my life, and most people who have know exactly how disgusting and polluted that water is. To make a long story short, my friend Michelle put it best when she said "I wouldn't take a SHIT in that water". The response I got to my warning was a posting from the NYC board of health stating the beaches were clean.
I've never been to Blarney Castle to kiss the Blarny Stone, but I've heard from several reliable sources that would know much more than I do that one of the great gags of the area is that some of the local townsfolk often like to get loaded and piss all over the thing in the middle of the night, knowing that tourists are coming in to touch their lips to it. How true that is I don't know, but do you honestly think an area that bases a large portion of their economy on you kissing the back end of their rocks for luck would ever want you to find out that Townie Fuckface and his five brothers have a regular Friday night circle jerk all over their stone of destiny? That kind of news getting out would ruin them.
And by the same principal, is the New York City board of health going to tell millions of people during the hottest days of the year that their beaches are too filthy and polluted to go near? Ah, take a nice swim at the beach (warning, sand covered in aids syringes and the water could give you cancer). FUCK NO they wouldn't, that shit causes riots and mass hysteria. That sort of news is only released when there's no other choice, when it's right out there and noticeable, which incidentally, has happened several times over the years at Rockaway Beach.
But surely if an article is in the New York times (the most credible news source of all because they NEVER make up their own facts) then it must be true, right? Articles written by writers who aren't from around here about people from Japan doing what very few that actually grew up near that beach would even DARE is all the proof one needs. I guess I don't know what I'm talking about after all.
I still have nothing, nothing but this blog, you good fans, and a degree in Social Science, which qualifies me to speak about these exact things. But even the points I make on matters I've studied extensively meet the toughest resistance from even my closest friends, because as Milgrim said, I don't appear to be coming from a position of authority, so what the fuck do I know?
But take this lesson from the once great Chevy Chase on why you should ALWAYS listen to other people who may know more about certain things from real life experience and the consequences of thinking you know more than they do
You could end up with balls in your mouth. You'd be lucky if that's all it is.
The bottom line though is that fighting with these people will only give you a headache and possibly drive you to the top of a bell tower. They'll never learn because they really don't want to, there's comfort in thinking you know everything, even when you don't know shit at all. And much like proving the earth is round, showing them and forcing them to believe it can be a monumental task that leaves your life in shambles.
Then again.... the greatest leaps forward in the history of man have come from proving the idiots wrong.
Just don't waste your time or energy on them, getting caught up in the fight.
