While I'm not quite done with my Comicon coverage (there are still a few things I wanted to get in there), I wanted to talk about something today that's been on my mind all week. And if you don't think that there's something divine, or at the very least something guiding us, beyond the veil of perception, what we like to call life or reality, then you just aren't paying attention.
Earlier in the week I spoke about Instigatorzine and their bi-monthly magazine that puts new authors and aspiring artists together in order to try to get them some exposure, and how I had wanted to do that myself, which was the very purpose behind The Mad Doser Presents in the first place.
A few days later I gave you an article about Loaded Barrel Studios and the comic line that they produce using a process that I had wanted to try two years ago.
Well... the Jacob Javits Center is an enormous place. The NYCC stretched across 6 massive rooms with thousands of booths set up with all kinds of products and creative ideas spread out before you. Yet out of that entire show flow and display after display, the two companies that struck me most were right next to one another using the very same ideas that I had wanted to work with but was unable to get going on.
For me it was a matter of that all important support system that I keep prattling on about. I could never get the right people around me to help out or get the people that I DID have to help excited enough about the projects to want to contribute more. Its a failing that I have, my greatest flaw, that keeps me from finding the success I've long sought.
Originally I had told you that I walked right by at first, but it was a feeling I had, a vibe from an attractive young lady that got me to go back. Some might say that was God, or the Force, whatever you believe, saying "hold on right there kid. I want you to see something. You were right, those ideas of yours work... and THIS is how its done. Now go out there and get em".
If you look at the pics I've posted today you may see some similarites in them with the comics I highlighted earlier in the week. I had done these over two years ago now; the cameras used weren't nearly as good as the one I have now either. This next one actually caused a huge fight where the girls boyfriend threatened to beat me up for messing with his property... until he found out what he was in for if he tried it. She ended up cutting me off over it only to find out he had been cheating on her with his ex the entire time they were going out....
But for all the work I had done, or thought that I had done, there was and is still such a long way to go, and I wasn't putting the pieces together the right way. I came away from the week seeing how very much was ahead of me if I really wanted to make it in this business, how much would have to be done if I were to do it right.
The thing of it is... you can take almost anything as a positive or a negative. I could be looking at this in terms of how far ahead in the game other people are over me, and how much I have to do just to catch up; a daunting task. Or I could look at it like this..... something just showed me the way!
Sure, there's a LOT that I have to get done now. One of my tasks for the weekend is a major list making marathon just to set up a chart of all there is to do. But now I have a clear idea of exactly what that is, and exactly what I have to do to get there. Its going to take time. Its going to take money I don't have. Its going to take people I don't know. And that's going to require me changing the way I do things and learning new ways to communicate with people in order to get all of that, bring people into the fold.... I have to become a new me....
You know what though..... ever since I've felt a charge that I haven't had in a long, long time. Where once before I'd be overwhelmed and crushed by the fear of all the bad that could happen, now I feel nothing but the challenge in everything, and its stirred my soul. Its carried over into other areas of my life already. And I'm ready to go.
Who says there's nothing watching over us, guiding our way?
And so... I'm giving you something. Here's a link to a free download of my last eBook "A Loaded Portrait". I've always said I write for your enjoyment, so enjoy. Its a book of short stories that we had put together to test the eBook format when we were trying to do the very thing Instigatorzine is now promoting new writers and artists. If you like what you see, contact me and you can be in the next one. All I ask is that you pass it along to everyone you know.
That's all for today.
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