Steve Jobs, Men's Jobs, working men.... The Jobs Edition!

I wasn't going to post anything today, but with the passing of Steve Jobs and the hero worship that ensued I had to put my 2 cents in.

Everyone loves Steve Jobs, brilliant innovator, billionaire, changed the world.... denied his illegitimate daughter for years and made her live off of welfare while he made millions..... A Great Man.... A Real Man.....

You can't deny the impact that Jobs had, but what kind of a person puts their kids through that? Especially when they have more than the means to do otherwise. And are we really better off as a people because we can get on facebook and download movies from our phone, yet kids rarely play outside anymore and people don't even know their neighbors?

Is it our great accomplishments, or the money we make that shows our worth, or is it the character that we display? And everyone has the skeletons in their closet, we all make mistakes.... but claiming to be infertile in court so that you can continue to be a dead beat dad is pure scum. Yet everyone loves Steve Jobs.

It brings me right back to an article my buddy shared with me recently written by William J. Bennet titled Why Men are in Trouble about how it really is becoming a woman's world.

You have to read the article, please, because there are some very disturbing trends and statistics that it shows off here, which I won't rehash so you'll need to check it out, but none more disturbing than the claim from women "WHERE HAVE ALL THE REAL MEN GONE?"

It's a good topic, but its also a skewed perspective, and I'm the perfect example of that.

I enjoy video games, but don't play them often. I work my ass off in a lot of different areas, yet no matter what I do I can't catch a break. So I'm broke with a job I hate and live with my mother.

There are no jobs out there for men, and the few that are you either have to fight an entire city for just a few slots like the city jobs, and those very often go to minorities, and minority women at that, or you have to fight against illegal aliens who will do the job for half the pay without regard for safety.

And then, again with a guy like me, in high school my father wasn't around and I took care of the kids while my mother worked 3 jobs, so I never had a childhood to learn who I am. Then I moved out at 16 because my mother couldn't afford a place big enough, got kicked out of college because it was the first chance I had to be a kid, and have struggled between one dead end job after another ever since with the door slamming closed on me at every single turn.
 

I moved to Vegas with my girl for a chance at a better life and you know what happened there. So I came home to finish getting my degree, but now that I have it I can't get a job with that college degree, and can't get a job making enough to pay the bills. Companies now even use the poor economy as an excuse to slash salaries and take advantage of people... "You know, in this economy...." but the cost of living or rent isn't going down at all.

But if you ask a woman, I'm not a real man. The real man is the guy who's had everything given to him, so now at my same age he owns a house and his own business. Or a real man is the guy on the police or fire department that I scored 20 points higher than on the tests and am in better shape, but he got the job and I didn't. So he makes 100G a year now doing nothing.

You'd be amazed at how being a "real" man has to do with the money you bring home, the vacations you go on, the partying you do, but not anything to do with the quality of human being you are.

We live in a society where recording artists beat the hell out of their women, athletes rape girls in bathrooms, get drunk and run down and kill average people in their cars, Presidents kill their own people to go to war, and billionaires deny their children forcing them to live off of welfare... but these are "REAL MEN"

But the guy who breaks his ass working 2 jobs just to pay the bills, trying to do it the right way, but doesn't get the opportunities we all need is a loser.

The problem is exactly articles like this, because its exactly how people think. They never look at the root cause of a thing, only where it is in the here and now.

 

And then it's "oh, yes, you're right, people should look at you differently.", but it's always left for someone else to do it.

 

I've written two books that have been published, have a college degree, have taught children how to read, been a mentor through coaching football, and sacrificed much of my life for my family.... yet I'm not a man to most people....

And there are many, MANY men out there like me in similar situations. 

 

It doesn't matter how smart you are, or how cool, or how good you are at the things you do, or how good those things are. The cast of Jersey Shore is rich and famous and I'm a fuckin bum and a loser that lives with his mother.

 

 

Its a nice sentiment to think "its not if you won or lost but how you play the game" except its one of the oldest lies there is. Socially all that matters to people are results. And no matter how much or how hard or how good you work, without results you're shit. If you can't make THEIR lives better, you're shit.

 

Most people that read this will deny the truth of these words because that requires taking a good hard look at yourself and how you look at other people and why. But many of our problems in society are a direct result of how we treat each other, and how we respect each other, and our reasons for it. Until we change what we honor and respect we're going to continue going down the toilet.

I'm howling at the moon in my clown suit again, I know. But it had to be said.

"Hooray for Firemen, sons of bitches that they are every day of their lives, run into a fire and you're a hero." - Kurt Vonnegut.

And God love Steve Jobs.

But what the hell do I know. I don't contribute much to society.

Later People.

Everyone has their Hustle....

I couldn't stand being in the house anymore, so I went out to the little coffee shop a few blocks away just to get out of there, maybe get something down, and wound up walking in on some ladies gawdy jewelry night. It's amazing; everyone has their hustle, huh?

Luckily Duke was in there, another guy like me who pops in from time to time to get some work done. He's a pretty good guy, something out of a Kerouac book, or another similar type thing. Duke was telling me about house concerts, which he's looking to get into, where musicians travel around playing private shows inside strangers' living rooms. The musician gets a meal and a bed and whatever the guests that night decide to donate, and then its on to the next gig. Sounds like something out of another time, another age.

It's always interesting to hear that stuff like that still goes on. But then, everyone has their hustle, don't they?

In a few months time Duke will be on the road doing his thing and I'll mostly forget ever knowing him; such is life. That being said, I can still see a little red-headed mulatto girl that I had spent a few hours talking to on the greyhound between St. Louis, MO and Philadelphia, PA, oh, 15 years ago now. They move in and drift out, fill time, space and gaps for just a while and then they're gone. And that goes for all of them, no matter the time or space they fill, or however long the while.

It's both the saddest and most beautiful thing about life. I can never help, when I see someone interesting, but to watch and wonder what their story is. I can never help, when I'm caught by random memories of random folk, but to wonder where life has taken them. I guess that's why I write.

I still can't decide which was worse, the looks I was getting from the fifty something's in there like they wanted to show me a thing or two out of their bag of tricks, or the wares they were trying to peddle. Don't get me wrong, I love older women. Just not these ones. Then again, I just got separate emails for NaughtyDating, SaucyDating, JuicyDating and FlirtyDating, so I guess there's something for everyone out there, and you can't blame them for looking can you? It's the lip licking that got me. There are also black singles in my area, and my Russian mail order bride is waiting. When it comes to the ladies... everyone has their hustle.

Speaking of doing their hustle with the ladies, who's better than Rudy Ray Moore star of Dolemite! ?

And why don't you ever see Irish mail order brides?

And when you get a wife mailed to you, how are they shipped? Do they come like this?

Talking about hustling people and looking for things to post about it got me to thinking about an under rated movie that I love, Kung Fu Hustle. Its possible that it just catches me the right away, and its something only I'd be into, but if you're into campy kung fu type action comedies you should rent it.

Even Paul Newman had his hustle down. Ever see the classic The Hustler with Newman and Ralph Cram... er, Jackie Gleeson?

That's such a great movie that they had to make a sequel to it twenty five years later and throw Tom Cruise into the mix with Martin Scorsese directing it. The Color of Money is probably one of the best under the radar fliks with megastars that you'll ever see. But then, isn't that the point of a good hustle, to come under the radar, and by the time you notice you've been had it's already too late?

Look at that. Even Abraham Lincoln, good ole Honest Abe had his hustle down.

One thing that's clear to me, especially now after writing this, is that I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about here. I'm telling you how everyone has their hustle, but talking about movies and where I find my women; nothing about hustling, how to do it, or pointing out examples at all.

What a horror! I guess its obvious that I have no hustle at all. No wonder I haven't been making any money on this. Go around the rest of this site and click the ads for me, I need all the help I can get. Geez, I should probably just give this whole thing up, and maybe I will.... none of this even makes any sense today....

Everyone has their hustle but me!

Live the Scam. Work the Sham!

And click the ads!

Go Yanks!

Later people!

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents


And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant
Coach LaSota

Coach LaSota's Formula for Success!!!

There's something strange in the air this morning, feels like it has to do with the way the rest of the day is going to fall, and I don't mean the heat pouring off the Yankee season going down in flames.

With that in mind I need to refocus my energy, which I've needed to do for some time anyway, and what better way to to that than to give you....

Coach LaSota's Formula for Success!!!

As with everything else in life, this is a work in progress, and there's much more to it, but this is a solid start...
So here we go....

Have a clear idea of what's important to you.
The biggest problem that most people have is that they don't really know what it is that they value in life. Then the things that they do, which seem like they're helping, actually pull you away from what it is that your heart really wants. For instance, if the most important thing to you is being a good father, but then you go and gamble away all of the rent money, you're not living in congruence with your values. But how can you live in line with what's important to you if you don't know what that is? Most people don't, then wonder why they're priorities are all screwed.

If you did nothing else, make a list of the 5 things that are most important to you in life and in what order. For me its:

1. Respect
2. Acting Right
3. Stability
4. Family
5. Love

Be Passionate about what you're doing.
Lets face it, anything that's going to work in your life is going to take a lot of doing, long hours, and getting passed road blocks. Its going to take facing tough challenges and putting your balls on the line, usually against some pretty scary odds. If you aren't passionate about whatever it is that you're trying to find find success with there's no way in hell you're going to put in those long hours or push passed those obstacles.

Believe its something worth doing and that you can do it
I've already spoken in great length about the power that even a small amount of belief can have and what can be accomplished because of it in my post "Facebook - The High School Lunch Room, and the power of BELIEF!!!". What is confidence but believing you can do something plus the faith that it will turn out the way you want it to? On the flip side to that, what is hopelessess but losing every sense of that very same thing? And there's nothing more crushing than hopelessness. You can know what you want and be passionate about doing it, but if you don't believe that you CAN do it you'll be stopped in your tracks quicker than a horse with no legs. And a horse with no legs will never be able to run now will it?

In fact, beliefs, whether right or wrong, are the table legs that hold our entire lives above the ground. You have to have this power working for you rather than against you.

Build a concrete plan to get the goal accomplished
I always like to use the analogy of the road trip to the Alamo. Remember the Alamo! Seems like a place everyone should visit, right? How can you remember something if you've never seen it? Not the point of the saying, I know, but whatever. Its a good road trip.

But there are many ways to go to get to the Alamo through this great big country we have here. You can map out a bunch of different things to hit along the way, make it a great trip, and be sure to end up at the Alamo. But what do you suppose would be the chances of getting to the Alamo if you just walked out your door and started wondering around out there? Not very good are they? Sure, you can go in a ton of directions, see and do a lot of things, but your chances of getting lost along the way are enormous.

Yet most of us live our lives like this. We go out there without a map, stumble around for a while and expect we're going to smack right into the Alamo, and how? By sheer luck? Then we get upset or confused when we end up in Cleveland with no money to get back home. At that point you're stuck there.

Do you want to be stuck in a place in life where you never intended to be without knowing how you got there or how to get out? Most of us are. Having a plan prevents this from happening. Or can get you back on the road when you make a wrong turn.

Have the energy to ACT, the mental energy to think clearly, and the positive energy to attract positive results
This is probably the single most important thing on this list, yet amazingly, its the one that's most neglected, and the very first thing that's sacrificed in the name of everything else in life. Let's face it, every single other item here takes a certain amount of energy to do. And if you feel like crap, you're not going to do ANY of it. Hell, even if you could do it anyway, you're not going to feel like it, so it's not going to get done. Or if it does, it'll be a half assed job.

This requires getting enough sleep. Eating right, exercise, and maybe most important, relaxing and spending time with friends and doing things that are fun. What good is any amount of success if you're too busy to feel good. And if you feel good, that's what its all about baby, you're already a success. Feeling good is the name of the game. I've got a good personal trainer if you need help with this here.

Always communicate perfectly what you want and what you're willing and able to do to get it with everyone, ESPECIALLY yourself
Its important that people know where you're coming from and what you want. How many of life's conflicts are over something simple, but come because we just aren't clear on how the other person see's things. The messed up thing about this is that the person we offend the most here is ourselves. You might not realize it, but you're talking to yourself literally every moment of every day, even while you sleep.

When you do this you're actually programming your subconscious mind, and your subconscious is a powerful Jedi, it's the engine that makes everything go. Yet ever single time you tell yourself you can't do something, it rattles around back there until you begin to believe it. Every time you tell yourself you want something that pulls you away from your values, it creates a jumbled mess in your mind that clouds your vision of what's important. As the saying goes, you can lie to me all you want but you can't lie to yourself. Its a sure way to an unhappy life. Except that most of us are pulling the wool over our own eyes without even realizing it.

Just as with the Alamo, if you're not clear on exactly what you want, how is anyone (including yourself) ever going to be able to give it to you?

Build strong connections and relationships with others to help carry you through. Especially with people that make life enjoyable. You're only as good as your support system.

Anthony Robbins always says the quality of your communication is the quality of your life. And according to Dale Carnegie, 85% of success comes from how you communicate with others. It truly is who you know, not what you know, and that goes for the people in every aspect of your life. Sometimes it's the person that gets your foot in the door, gets you that business meeting or job interview. Sometimes its the people that pick you up when you're down or believe in you so much it makes you believe in yourself. At others it people that spread the word for your cause.

I go into this in full detail in the post "The KEY TO SUCCESS IS RIGHT IN HERE.... if you read it... "

Even if you're not ready to take all these steps at once, be sure to take care of that very first one. If you know what's most important to you in life, and have your own 10 commandment, your Knights Code to live by, and you always stick to those guns, then you're ahead of the game already.

Later People!

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents


And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant
Coach LaSota

It Goes Both Ways....

It's funny to me to see the things that people choose to pick out.

And I love a good debate, especially when its off of something that I said. Sometimes I'll say something I don't believe one bit just to see how people will argue against it. So when I got an Anonymous comment last night on my piece "It Doesn't Matter" I thought it was the perfect thing to get me going this morning.

"Maybe the girl is tired of nailing the guy too.. It's a two way street bro!!" is what Anonymous had to say, which I can only figure had to be in response to my comment "show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of nailing her." Again, out of that entire piece this one line, which barely had anything to do with what was being said, is the one thing Anonymous picked out of all of it. Funny how that works out.

But maybe Anonymous is right. Maybe the girl is tired of nailing the guy too. Maybe.

Maybe she's so good in bed that no guy EVER gets tired of nailing her. That statement can go weather she's hot or looks like a dump truck. And maybe she's so bad in bed that they get tired before finishing and just leave. That could be no matter what she looks like too. Maybe. And the same goes for guys, maybe he's so bad every woman he brings home walks out before it gets started. Maybe he's so good he has a reputation for it and the ladies line up. Maybe.

Of course, Anonymous is certainly right. It definitely goes both ways.

I've had women that can't stand me continue to have sex with me because I was able to turn them on so much, even after they decided not to sleep with me again, that for days afterward they would ask over and over what it was that I did to them to turn them on so much. I've had women who were like my best friend completely cut me off after deciding I was terrible in bed, which is what led me to learn so much of what I have about how to please a woman in the first place. And I still have a lot to learn. So even with the same person it goes both ways.

I tend to get loud, go crazy, say and do outrageous over the top things and make a spectacle of myself in general when I'm out there having a good time. Some people love me for it, others hate me and can't get far enough away fast enough. Same guy, same actions, same circumstance, opposite reaction depending on who you ask. It goes both ways.

Any time you make any general statements, statements like "Show me a hot woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of nailing her" then it is certainly bound to go both ways.

If you tried to apply anything of that sort to everyone across the board every time then of course its going to be ridiculous if it were ever meant to be taken that way. But at the same time, every single one of us out there has someone that got tired of hanging out with us. Or tired of sleeping with us. Or tired of dealing with us in some capacity or other, no matter how cool we are, how interesting, how good looking, how good in bed.... that's relationships; that's life. So the statement is still true. Even if it's only happened once, if it's only one person, it's still true.

In Social Science something only has to happen 65% of the time for it to become stereotypical behavior. That's not a lot, and it does leave open a lot of chance for that outcome not to be the case. But it's still 2/3 of the vote, a solid majority. So when people say that stereotypes aren't true, well, a large percentage of the time they're right, but the MAJORITY of the time, 2/3 of the time, the stereotype IS true. A solid majority of actually real life experience says that this is the way that it is, so it IS TRUE... most of the time. Not all of the time, but most of the time, which is why stereotypes do and always will exist.

But its also why its so important to take each person, each situation, on a case by case basis. The stereotype of a person, place or thing might serve to protect you, and are good to keep in mind for that purpose, but I've always felt and say it all the time, "You judge the man by the man."

If you consistently read my blog or know me personally then you also know that this is exactly how I am and exactly how I feel. I'll throw out how things "typically" are in a social science sense as a basis for a grounds of discussion, but also looking for how this time its different.

I don't know who Anonymous is, and its obvious when you throw things out there like "Maybe the girl is tired of nailing the guy too.. It's a two way street bro!!" that you're trying to learn me something, or prove some point, when the statement is obviously taken out of context. You're not making a profound statement. You're not proving yourself right or me wrong.

My blogs are often written from a guys point of view because I'm a guy. But almost anything in them can be taken as "going both ways" or "a two way street". I can probably find an example for you to prove both sides every single time. And I've gone to great lengths time and again to make sure its known where I stand on these things... firmly in the middle. Most of the time, unless I get too personally, emotionally involved in something, I take a scientists angle to these things. I observe and record the observations, along with the mountains of research that's always out there if you're not too lazy to find it. Then I say "This is how it is" because stereotypically, the majority of the time, that's the truth. But please, show me how I'm wrong, and please please show me how you're different.

If I live for anything, I live for the people who are different. Who in life is better than the people who prove the stereotypes wrong? Especially when you're talking about proving deeply rooted social pressured stereotypes wrong, like the smoking hotty who can have any guy she wants choosing the broke guy because she actually loves him. We write books and songs and movies about these things because they're special. And they're special because they rarely happen. They rarely happen because it's human nature to go with the crowd, which is what makes it so difficult to actually be different against the tide of the social world, and why people stand out so much when they do.

This isn't my opinion, its science.

Besides the fact that, the statement "show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of nailing her." has never once been a shot against women or anyone else at any time. What that says is that no matter how great a person appears to be on the outside, we're all just people. We all put our pants on the same way, we all have similar problems and emotions, we've all had diarrhea and nasty things coming out of us same as anyone else. No matter how hot or rich or famous or anything else a person is, they're still a person the same way you are, so treat them as one. That means not putting them on any pedestal.

I love when people throw comments out at you coming off as high and mighty when they don't even take the time to think about what's being said, where they come from, or what they actually mean. They do it just to sound good.

And finally, and this is a lesson to all people about everything you do. Anonymous comments have no credibility what so ever. They're akin to yelling out threats in the middle of a crowd but zipping the lips when its one on one. If you don't have the conviction to put your name to your words and stand behind what you claim to believe then those words carry no weight.

My name is out there on every one of my posts. I stand behind what I say. And if I'm wrong I try my best to either explain what I meant or admit that I was wrong once I realize my mistake. Its called accountability.

That being said, I'm wrong all the time. But show me how so I can make myself a better person, don't hide behind the anonymous bush hurling stones where it can't come back at you and then act like some sort of sage for it. I have to be accountable for what I say. That's the price you pay for what I do.

I know it was you Fredo!

If everyone used that same method of accounability, if everyone stood behind what they say or do and stood up and said, yeah, that was me, and had the balls to face the consequences... or just the ability to discuss things further to come to a better understanding.... the world would be a much different place then wouldn't it?

That's a two way street too..... bro!!

Later People.

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents


And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant
Coach LaSota