Some Friday WTF?!

Its Friday morning and I'm not sure if I've had a serious thought run through my head all week... and I'm not about to start now. But I've already blown my load this week (in more ways than one) using pictures of women in almost nothing, and can't go back to that well.... what to do now, what to do....

So we're just going to go with a bit of WTF? for this Friday morning. As in WTF is that thing up above me here. This chick has her head wrapped like a pork roast. If she keeps this for a few more days do you think her face will stay that way? Quick, someone slap her.....

If you've been wondering how such a stud like myself could still be on the open market after all of the displays of my greatness, ponder it no more. The proof is right here, the perfect girl for me is out there, unfortunately, someone beat me to her. If that's not the wedding for this guy, I don't know what is.

You have to go to this page though, its where I got this pic from, and MAN do they have some funny ones....

This is the kind of outside the box thinking that I'm talking about... fast, efficient, cost effective and always gets it done.... why can't we be more like the Japanese, its no wonder they lead the world in everything, they've even got the market cornered on how to kill yourself right... in front of a live audience no less.

This would be even more disturbing if you knew where this toilet was.... the Men's room.... in Penn Station....

Talk about your romantic vacations pictures. The absolute best part of this photo is the smiley face across his ass. Does it make me weird that the first question that came to my mind was if he was coming or going?

The gift that keeps giving. To everybody. Don't I keep telling you all that there are a million things in this world to be thankful for?

You didn't think I'd go an entire piece without having one smoking hot beauty in here, did you? Of course not! Seriously, I actually know this girl, I spoke about her in my very 1st ever post and believe it or not she's really cool. The same can't be said for most that look like her. And for all of the "famous" people that are supposedly doing so well, she's got a much bigger internet presence than a lot of them. Keep up the good.... yeah....

Its feeding time. I bet you didn't know that camels eat their prey head first. I don't care how old he is, or what the situation is that brought this about.... if a camel eats your head, I'm pretty much convinced that you deserve it!

Is that a dog or an R.O.U.S? "Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist."

In the hot tub with your baby, a muppet, and you're brand new pink AK-47 with banana clip..... PRICELESS! There's so many places you can go with this that I don't even know where to start, but I have no doubt these people know just how to end it.....

Huh. When a bum freezing his nuts off on a bench looks down passed his cigarette on you and has to ask himself... WTF?!.... and you're going to be responsible for whatever happens to that kid in your belly. Somehow the rest of us are going to have to pay the price for this one.

Penn State University has just unveiled the Jerry Sandusky Children's Center....

Uh.... yeah.... he must have come from the same home as the woman at the top beginning of the piece.... Honestly, I can't hate. That English girl I was sleeping with told me that she couldn't give me what she was looking for. Now she's going out with this guy.

Supergirl, I love you. What a perfect uniform. I don't know what it is that I did wrong, but it was completely unforgivable... and now this superhero is going to have to punish me!

Bring out the gimp! Don't lie, you're that asshole on all fours looking the other way, we all know it, and now your secrets out! I know, I know, that's not fair.... these are the poor bastards that Supergirl up top caught. This is the punishment she doles out.... careful what you wish for pal!

Honestly, I don't see the problem here. This is probably the most lifelike drawing I've ever seen. You had just better watch yourself buddy, I hear Timmy the cat fucker is on the prowl, and that's bound to be looking pretty good to him.

That's real business that Timmy the cat fucker thing. We used to know a guy named Timmy that fucked cats and told everyone about it. That's not the crazy part of it. The crazy thing is that every girl he had sex with looked like Supergirl or my amazingly hot friend up there. And that doesn't surprise me in the slightest. It only goes to proves the people you women think are great.....

When I saw this I couldn't help but cry. This same exact thing happened to my brother. He was 12 at the time walking my 130 lb Rotty when she saw a squirrel and took off after it. She dragged that kid half a block on his stomach like some old Cowpoke getting lynched, it was GREAT!

This was taken in my high school locker room. No, seriously, this is what they used to do in there. Just be happy they haven't started playing leap frog yet... yeah, that happened too. Look at the smiles on their faces, they're loving this. Except for maybe that first guy on the left, what's with the blowers cramp? Maybe he's the engine today.

CLASSY! That's very lady like, and you told me they don't make women the way that they used to anymore.... All I know is that Toledo Firefighters don't fuck around! She's doing that mid conversation too, back home we call that a good woman!

Right now she's thinking.... "I wonder if he notices...."

Ron and Harry have always been so close.... special friends.... keep the magic in your pants fellas....

Baby.... you've got your spare tire... I've got mine. I can't be sure, but I don't think those are Michelin tires. Mom's got some hammers though, doesn't she. At what point does he say, you know what would make this the perfect romantic moment.... the donut from my Dodge! But hey, whatever works right? You can't hide that look of love in their eyes....

This right here is my retirement plan. I've got it all worked out. And since I'm plum out of spare tires... and I don't fuck cats... it may be a while before some gorgeous thing gives me those same longing looks, so I had better pucker up my asshole and get my yellow ready....

Now that we've gone over all of this nonsense, it appears as if the boys have my plans for the weekend all set up and ready to go, so I had better get out of here. That little guy is an impatient prick, hates when we keep him waiting. Until now though, I never realized how much he resembles Tony Fuckface.... spitting image.....

Until next time...

Later People!

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant

Coach LaSota

Conditions of Victory, what its really like out there for most, and more models!

In yesterday's piece I spoke about the 2011 Victoria's Secret Fashion show and posted a lot of photos of the more well known models that they had walking the runway in bras and panties. We tend to go crazy over these women, but there are so many more that make these productions go, whether they be up and coming or just fillers that don't quite have what it takes to get to that elite level.

Mregji Heinen

The more and more I look into these things the more I find a few people in the entertainment business, whatever the genre, actually break into this elite status, while the landscape is littered by the hangers-on. Most of you out there with those bigger dreams will fall squarely in some realm of the latter.

Toni Garrn

So if you want to actually do more than make a hobby of this, and for more than just a few years, you're going to have to find a niche in that world or a new angle that's unique to yourself in order to keep you in the game. The more I get into what it takes, the more I'm seeing that hero support, the people behind the scenes that allow these elite's to do their thing, has much more long term viability.

Lais Ribeiro

Every one of the photos I'm using in today's piece is also of women that appeared in the show the other night, every one of them beautiful, yet none of them have the names or reps that the stars do. Many of them I had to filter through, even drop some completely, because I just couldn't find shots of them sexy enough to use that weren't naked.

Anja Rubik

So here once again we run into another common theme, people that are successful enough to take part in a huge event in their field, yet still not known enough to be much more than a face, albeit a beautiful face, in the crowd. I personally know more than a dozen women who could fit this category and still have less of an internet presence than I do. In 5 years they'll be looking for a real job, brought back into the real world just like the rest of us, no matter how much they're living the high life right now.

 Anne Vyalitsyna

Again, beauty only gets you so far, opens the door, but there has to be something more there. That picture up top is smoking, and its no different than a thousand others I've seen. If you know any ladies wanting to break out, or break in, to the modelling/acting/music industry, or if you are one yourself, you need to make sure you're very clear on one thing, especially the models where its just your looks that you're working with.... you're going to be taking your clothes off for the camera, and its going to be all over the internet. If you want to be a star actress, you're probably going to have to sleep with a few big shots to get there. Its part of the gig. And if you're not willing to do that then you had better get back in school and study hard.

Shannon Click

I'm really not one to love being right, its more relief that I'm on the right track. The same as with these ladies having to be willing to go to ends others balk at to get into the limelight, I too have to find ways to make the system work for me, rather than against me as it always has, and so will you in any of your endeavors. Which makes it all the more important to know what you're facing and embrace it, rather than rail against it.

Julie Stegner

Whatever it is that you're doing, you can make it happen if you're just able to find ways to accentuate your strengths while limiting the exposure of the things you're weak in. The models here are a perfect example of that. These are mostly runway models, pretty faces, small skinny frames, big boobs and not much at all in the hips and ass area. So what do you see mostly? Cleavage shots and hair whipping.

Izabel Goulart

Bikini models on the other hand are going to show off more of the back end, use sexy poses to reveal their best assets. Magazines and professional photographers prove brilliant at being able to recognize a person's best attributes and leverage those in their work. Some of the ladies... there just isn't enough out there to work with. Others, like Izabel Goulart up top here, are able to pull it off so well that I actually had to restart my archives for later use because of the vast amount of material she has out there that's top of the line.

Caroline Winberg

Like always though, my point isn't to talk about half naked women and show off their photos, though it IS something I enjoy. Rather, its to illustrate something greater that affects us all and I'll explain....

This comes straight from the Art of War, but is applicable to every situation in life, especially career situations. In every scenario we have to look for the conditions of victory, exactly what is it that I want or am I trying to accomplish, or, what has to happen for me to win. And how will I know that its happened?

Once we know this, however, we have to then decide how far we're willing to go, how much we're willing to do in order to achieve that end result. If we have to do or give up more than we find worth it to achieve that victory then its time to walk away and find another battle to fight.

To walk out into a situation without knowing those conditions means you've already lost. That's how we get in over our head. That's how we get sucked into things we regret or can never live down. Yet its how most people go about their every day business of living their life.

As you go out there, know what you're getting yourself into, what you want to get out of it, and the price you're willing to pay in everything you do. To do it any other way will always lead to you getting fucked in the end. Sometimes literally.

But that's all for now.

Later People!

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant

Coach LaSota

2011 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show !!!

Once upon a time in the not so distant past if you were to show me a picture of a bikini model, whether it be Victoria Secret or Sport Illustrated, I would be able to tell you exactly who she was and probably stats and bio to go with it.

Adriana Lima

I was working for the NYPD at the time, and my buddy Kris and I actually had a large binder at the office where we kept files on this sort of thing. It had to go back through years worth of swimsuit issues and catalogues. And by now you know I knew the Playboy centerfolds too.

 Miranda Kerr

I bring this up, not because someone brought up the fact that she thought I was gay way back when we were teenagers because I wanted to chill with the guys rather than see her at the time, this isn't my overcompensation for anything, except for maybe my lack in the ability to bring these sort of ladies home with me.

Erin Heatherton

But because last night they aired the 2011 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, which was actually held Nov. 9 or so. This was truly amazing television, and I'll tell you why. Now, I know about as much about fashion as I do about speaking Chinese or delivering half goat half pygmy babies, "Push... what? Not yet? Huh!".... which is to say I know nothing at all.

Right now I'm looking like the cover art from a drunken 70's rockers album. If you threw a cast on his arm here it could have been what I was seeing in the mirror last night.

 Lily Aldridge

So I'm not going to be commenting at all on 2.5 million dollar bras. Let's face it, if people weren't buying them then they wouldn't be making them, would they?

I don't listen to Kanye West, Jay-Z, or Maroon 5 either. Needless to say, there won't be any musical commentary either other than to say it really annoyed the hell out of me.

Alessandra Ambrosio

And the show was so over produced that it didn't feel much different than any other fake ass behind the scenes nonsense. Honestly, the commercials were more alluring.

This special was basically unwatchable, painfully so at times... yet I couldn't look away!

Chanel Iman

Really, it makes all the sense in the world. I wasn't there for the celebrities. I wasn't there for the music. And I wasn't there to see what new styles would be hitting the stands soon, as if I would buy any of it even if I had someone to buy it for. It all looks good to me in a pile on my floor. I was there for the ladies.

Candice Swanepoel

And they didn't disappoint. As if I needed more to prove the power of beautiful young women in lingerie, here I was deep into a show I couldn't stand with my eyes fixated on the screen anyway. And what's not to like? Unless you're a woman yourself who doesn't have it like this, or a dude pissed that they don't have it to get with ladies who do.

Doutzen Kroes

I've stopped having that problem a long time ago now. And as far as just being some sort of perv.... they're underwear models, not only is it par for the course, its to be expected, comes with the job, because that's exactly what they're going for. We all filled our roles perfectly.

Lindsey Ellingson

For those guys out there like me who can't get enough of this stuff, just remember one thing... you're only doing exactly what every male of the species is supposed to do, science backs you up! Our main biological imperative after survival is reproduction of the species.

I explain it all right here.

We are hardwired to want to nail every woman on earth who we think is hot enough to want to make her pregnant. And lets face it... there's no thought process at all. Now that I know the science I'll never apologize for oogling an attractive woman ever again, no matter the age or any other factor.

You should see my dog when one of the females is in heat, drooling with a big dopey ass smile on his face, his eyes glued to her every move.... something takes over, he's a dog possessed! And I do the same damn thing, and so do you. I was doing it again last night watching Victoria's.... Hmmmm!!!

Behati Prinsloo

To be perfectly honest though, I got a whole lot more out of the time I spent watching the movie 13, with Jason Statham and Mickey Rourke, among others. I wasn't expecting it at all, and then this flik just went and got SICK! I'm talking almost Human Centipede kind of crazy, and it really blew my mind. This is definitely the kind of outside the box thinking we need, and I highly recommend it!

And finally, for those of you who give a damn about what a 2.5 million dollar bra looks like, here it is. For the rest of you, its just another really hot picture to look at.

If there's a point to any of this its that really good looks will get people to pay attention to almost any nonsense. And they'll also keep you hanging around long after you've lost all interest otherwise. Good looks simply keep you in the game longer, bottom line, no point fighting this fact of life. So learn to use it for your advantage, just make sure to remember that even the best looks only have about 30 minutes of shelf life.

Then you're going to have to do something more to keep interest... uh... up

But that's all for today.

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant

Coach LaSota

You're A Bum!

Or rather, I am!

And that's not just the answer I gave a friend last night when they asked what I do for a living. It's not just because of my bullshit job. Its not just because of the pathetic paycheck I bring home that doesn't pay the bills. And its not just because I'm not doing what I want to do, not living the life I want to live, though those are all contributing factors.

I haven't gotten a hair cut in over a month now. I only left the house twice all weekend, and one of those times was to sit doing the same thing in someone else's place. I seem to have lost all focus, all drive, all direction....

And that's still not why I'm a bum!

"I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it"

And its true. I'm one of those jerks that people can't stand, one of those that can do pretty much anything once you show them how a time or two.... and I've done nothing with it. I'm so much more than what I've become....

And that's what makes me a bum.

Maybe you're in the same boat, I don't know. I can't speak for anyone but myself. There's nothing worse than wasted talent. So in that frame, I quess I'm the worst. I told you I'm a horrible human being.

And maybe I need to be a bum for a while. Maybe its good to accept where you're at. Maybe I need to chill out, not push so hard, then I can really see where I need to go next.

So of course, just this weekend a big picture item hit my mind. Its an insane idea. A huge one. The type of thing that changes the world.

And its something I have to do.

There are so many things I'll have to accomplish to get it done. Its going to take a lot of time. Its going to take a ridiculous amount of money.

For every level of success you have to become a new person. I'll need a total overhaul. I'm going to have to eat lightning... crap thunder....

But I've got three more weeks in this cast. And then rehab. I need some inspiration. I need a muse. 

I guess I grew up a Disney kid, blame my parents for that, and probably 5 sisters.... but it made getting into Once Upon A Time. Its a really well written show. So I watching it last night a thought kept coming to me, bringing me back to something I truly believe...

Lana Parrilla plays the evil queen, and she's so good at being the absolute worst person you ever met in your life that I just can't believe that she isn't really that way in real life also. Its a theory I've been going on for some time now, that if a certain behavior just rolls off naturally for someone during pretend time its because they're so comfortable acting that way that it must be a part of them. If you want to know what its like to chill with Charlie Sheen, just check him out in Navy Seals. That's him! He's playing himself in there, gotta be. 

The thing with the Evil Queen that fucks me up though is that I'm kind of into her. She's good looking enough, has something about her I find sexy, and if the internet is right (and it always is!) there's a flik floating around out there where she bares herself. What worries me is that what I find sexy about her is that she comes off as such a Thundercunt! That could explain a lot of things.

Speaking of actresses that love to take it all off, Anne Hathaway is getting hitched. Right there is a perfect example of how you need balance to everything, even the sexy, or you'll lose it. Now, to say that she isn't sexy is just damn ridiculous, but now I've gotten so used to seeing her naked in everything she's in that its nothing special to me anymore.

And that's the danger of the naked game. We all want it the first time, but once we're used to it, you're going to have to find a new trick to get people going, even when its boobs. And an actress who sells herself on sexy that can't get you into it anymore is in trouble.... time to release a sex tape.....

But she's getting married now, and what's sexy about that for the millions that want to nail her? Could be a step down is coming.

 

There's Demi Moore. Sexy? I don't know. 

One thing for sure though is that some questions are answered loud and clear. A few weeks back I had put up a post using the 2011 Playboy Playmates, but saying nothing really that had anything to do with them. That one post accounts for nearly 20% of the five thousand plus times this blog has been read. Its all about the ladies. 

But that answer brings up a new question, looking at that Demi Moore shot again, then to this one up above..... even the young ladies, how much are these photos airbrushed (heh, airbrushed) to make them look like that?

A few quick hits....

The Conan remake completely sucked balls.

What do you think are the 10 hottest Santa/Xmas pictures?

And start sending me your top 10 best of 2011.

Later People!

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant

Coach LaSota