One of the things that I held back from my coverage of the New York City Comic Con, the review of a book I was given for free from someone that I've seen around at a few different venues just for the purpose of the review, ends up being the perfect lead in for today.
The reason its perfect.... I just can't do it. I can't.
The book wasn't good. Sure, there were a couple of good ideas, but nothing sustainable. It just seemed like a bad rip on the old Tick comics, with a story that just didn't work. But I know how hard it is to do all that work, believe in it, put the time, money and effort into selling it... and it going no place. I just don't have the heart to tear it apart, not like I would do with multimillion dollar Hollywood productions.
The shame of it is, in terms of getting yourself out there, the creator was doing everything right. He had the nice looking booth girl getting attention, he spent the money on a nice sized booth, his table was full of different things like T-Shirts and what not.... but this is what happens when you're selling a product that's just not good.
And its situations just like this that sometimes put me at odds with a lot of the success principles that I've been learning over the passed few years. You're supposed to get as far away as you can from the naysayers. If people don't believe in what you're doing, you're not supposed to listen to them. Negative people will only drag you down, so go out there and live your dream, and all that jazz, right? Except that sometimes they're right.
There's a big difference between belittling someones dreams because you want to keep them down, or because you can't let them become more successful than you are, or whatever other reasons you can come up with, and the genuine warning that a real friend, and only a real friend, can offer.
If we're going to meet some ladies and your breath smells like my taint after a summer softball double header, its up to me to tell you about it. If you have a voice that sounds like someones skinning cats in a back alley behind a Chinese take out joint, and you're scheduled to appear on American Idol, then its my job to let you know what you're in for. If you've got a new man or woman in your life, and I've seen pictures of them online taking the hot lunch.... AND all of your friends think they're annoying and crazy and will ruin you.... guess what.....
So as much I do believe in positive thinking and perseverance, believing in what you do and all of that mess... you also have to know when you're backing the wrong horse.
Of course, I could have been a good media whore and done whatever I had to for new audience members. I could have blown this guy like a fluff girl at a gang bang so he'd tell everyone he knows how great I am.... but you all know how much I hate people that are full of it.... besides... to do so would not only cheapen the write ups I gave on the people, companies, and work that I really enjoyed... it would have cheapened everything that I have to say.
That's integrity, and its hard to keep, especially when you're up against it. But at the end of things, what else do we really have.
That doesn't mean I have to be nasty though. You know how the saying goes... if you've don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
Maybe I'm getting old. Or maybe I'm just getting soft. Possibly both. The truth is that I probably don't have a right to complain about anything bad that happens to me. If you've ever been standing on a corner on Queens Blvd and randomly got pelted with Wendy's burgers... yeah... you're welcome. And if you've been on a date on cold winter night.... and some ass soaked you with a full Big Gulp.... could have been me too. There was a time that I was a horrible human being...
What am I talking about, that still makes me laugh my ass off....
I'm a terrible person.
My post yesterday was talking about an awesome time we had, mostly at the expense of someone. And now I find myself caught between conflicting emotions. Yeah, that was great, so damn funny I don't have words for it. Yet at the same time, I think I can say for sure that every one of us at one time or another has gone to a party, let it all out, had a good time, only to find out later on that we completely embarrassed ourselves somehow. Everyones that ass sometime, right? Eh, maybe its just me. That's part of the reason I keep the manimal in the cage.... ever on the look out for the return of the ass!
Everyone of us has thought we made a real connection with someone, only to find out that it was the exact opposite, and they want to run as far from us as possible. Eh, maybe that's just me too, I don't know. That's a terrible feeling; its heartbreaking.
What I was going to say today, the point of all of this, was to remember that these people, the guy with the bad book, the nut job at the party.... well, they're people too. Imagine how you would feel if it were you in that position. It puts a whole different spin on the scenario doesn't it? If I have a strength at all these days its empathy, and that's born out of always trying to put myself in someone else's shoes, see things how they're seeing it, feel what they're feeling. Try it sometime, it'll change you for the better.
Of course.... I may have my stalker for the first time in years, so you have to find a way to tell someone. You can't keep having them ruin your parties or life stops being a party, you'll lose the reminders of how awesome life is. If your friends favorite Chinese Take Out has people skinning cats in the back alley, you should probably find a way to tell them that may be broccoli, but that aint chicken. And if they're putting all of their time, money, effort and dreams into a thing that will never catch on because it just completely sucks....
I just don't have the heart to hurt anyone these days. I've been there too many times myself to make someone else go through it too. Unless they're one of the "popular" people or "beautiful" people that have always crapped on the ones they deemed unworthy....
Those people make me LOVE showing just what an ASSHOLE I can be. Really.
But not when its a good person, no matter how crazy or misguided they may be.
But that doesn't mean they don't need help to find the right path. Myself included. So where's the balance? That's my question for the day. Hit me with your opinions, give me some answers.
Later People!
Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer
And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant
Constructive Criticism. Find a way to tell this person, without publicly embarrassing them, that there are positives, but there are also some negatives. I know its something I look, and ask for out of my work. I need to know if I think something is hysterical, do other people get it? Cause if not, I need to weigh whether I rework it to hopefully get people to see what I find so funny in it, or scrap it completely. After all, what we do, what we work at... doesn't mean that much if people aren't receiving it well, or at all. Assuming of course that's one's goal...to get people to view, judge and respond to your work.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends on the person that you are critiquing. Some people prefer and respond to direct strong criticism. Then there are some who will not accept any type of criticism no matter how right it is or how you soften it up. When I've dealt with people in the later category, I will not give them any input because it gets misconstrued as a personal attack and usually ends in tears. So, that group is on their own. I guess you just have to know what people want to hear and how they want to hear it and fine-tune your critiquing based on that.
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