but its SEXY!!! and.... you can't be on all the time.....

Ugh! I have a headache.

All I can say is thank God for coffee, sweet nectar of life!

Before I begin today I have to give a shout out to Mimz. I got an anonymous comment on last night's post and all it said was Mimz, and being curious I had to see what that was about, which is how it's done; they suckered me in. Unfortunately for our friend here, they didn't give enough information to go on and I don't know which of the many Mimz that comes up in Google search that you are, which leaves us a valuable lesson. Be specific. Make sure people know exactly what you want them looking at.

I also want to welcome our new Peruvian friends to out little club here. Nice to have you with us.

Last night I played my first competitive Darts match in a long time. When I stepped up to the board and saw that I was matched up against a woman I couldn't help but feel my chest puff up, the machismo flare. There was no way I was going to lose to a woman. I wouldn't say that she was good looking, but she definitely knew how to rock what she had... SEXY! 

Its a good thing for all of us out there to keep in mind, men and women alike. We can't all be good looking, but we can all add a little something to the way that we carry ourselves, a little swagger, that air of confidence that tells everyone "Yeah, I know you want me" no matter how we look that does in fact make people want us. You know what I'm talking about too. We've all had or known or seen at least one person at some point in our lives that we had to step back and say "I know they're not good looking at all.... but they're so damn SEXY.... I want them anyway...."

I think that's something we can all capture for ourselves, use it to capture someone for ourselves, no matter what came in the package we were born with.... sexy is so much more than good looking....

But I'm going off on a tangent here aren't I? Besides, this chick didn't have it like that, not at all. Just a lil sexy. So my first two throws are pretty nice... I'm feeling good, right? And then this chick unleashes hell and blows me right off the board. I'd like to say that I'm above that male need to prove that I'm a MAN baby, YEAH, that chauvinistic impulse that tells us that men are always better than the ladies in anything involving competition... but last night proved that I'm not.

Part of me was embarrassed, but at the same time... you can't be on all the time....

It forced a conversation that I had later in the evening with a woman on our team. Darts isn't like most other sports where man muscle is a factor. Women have better hand eye coordination than men do, if anything its something that fits them well, that they should excel at... yet every professional I can think of in the game is a man. All we could come up with as a reason for it is because the nature of how its played.... in the bar with the guys. I guess it's something to do to get away from the wife. Oddly, all of the pros I know of are also English....

I'm all over the place as I write this, I know. Its called a hangover; keeps interrupting my flow. I knew when I had reached my limit last night, but ended up having two more after that. What was I going to do? We were at this nice Irish bar in Rockville Center called Stingers... they really know how to take care of you in there. Here I thought the buy back was dead, but they really hooked it up. I give it my ringing endorsement, I'll be in there again and I hope you're there with me. It'll be a good time; we'll have a party.

Now it's my head that's ringing. That's what happens when the bartender hooks it up on a Monday night. Part of me should be embarrassed, there's a word for someone who gets wrecked in the bars on a Monday night; A DRUNK, but that's not what I'm talking about. I should be embarrassed for the state of today's blog.... but... you can't be on all the time....

Mariano Rivera is now the all time saves leader in baseball, greatest closer of all time. People have slobbered all over his nuts for years, but not me. I've always said, as great as he is (and he IS great), he's still over rated. I'm a HUGE Yankee fan, love the Yanks more than anything, they're my first love, so this isn't hating on my part. You can be great and still be over rated when the masses still slobber all over your balls without seeing your failures... think Reagan for Republicans... Clinton for Democrats... (I still don't believe elections actually exist), but Mo blows every other save against the Red Sox. He lost the 2001 World Series, there's no other way to put it, then blamed it on Brosius. Against the good teams he's an average pitcher, and that's a fact, the numbers back it up.

And when we talk greatness, real greatness, we judge it against the other greats, not the mediocre slobs who just showed up.... but hey.... you can't be on all the time....

Don't get me wrong though, the guy still is great...

As I'm writing this I've realized that I haven't done a very good job of showing off people that are ugly, yet still sexy. Most of everything that I've found is someone who is hot. But there's still a big difference between sexy and good looking.

I've also realized, as I've been writing this, that I'm not doing a very good job of actually writing anything. I'm off my game today, way off, and its degenerated into an excuse to post pictures of drunks and women... but then.... you can't be on all the time....

So here's a little something for the rest of us, those of us that aren't the beautiful people, to show that no matter how hot or sexy the rest of "THEM" are... in the end, we're all nasty in exactly the same way....

Now THAT... is SEXY!!!

Man... after that I don't even know what to say any more. So I'll leave you with a question and hope you all blow up the comments section here with you're answers... Who do you know that may not have the looks like these ladies, but is still every bit as sexy? What qualities do you think that entails? How does someone that might need a little help in that area pull it off? What can you tell us that helps get you going?

I'm interested to hear your answers....

Later People!

Science now proves SOULS MATES EXIST!

Every once in a while something comes along to remind me of what a science geek I used to be in a former life, and every time that thing completely blows my mind. What I'm going to tell you about today is true scientific fact, though I'm not allowed to divulge my source of the information at this time under penalty of death, or at the very least, the great discomfort that comes from being sued.

Just before my good friend Caryn made me try a piece of her burger Friday night, because everyone HAS to try a piece of the best burger in NY (and it is), we were lucky enough to attend a special event at the Directors Guild of America with my very good friend Walt. We were told if we talk about what went on there that night that they would cut out our tongues, but nothing was mentioned about the information we received, and I have to tell you about it. I'll try to keep it from getting too scientific for you.

There are two satellites in space that monitor the electromagnetic field surrounding the Earth. This is important because that field is what keeps everything here, like gravity, working and us from flying right off the planet. On 9/11 those satellites went NUTS, and scientists were scrambling to figure out why, which lead to new research.

As if turned out, it was the overwhelming out pour of human emotion that lead to spikes in the Earths electromagnetic field. What they had found out because of it is that the human heart has an electromagnetic field of its own that is in fact in tune with that field that surrounds the planet. Your heart is literally connected to the earth by a field of magnetic energy.

Now, everyone knows about magnets, on one end the magnets stick together, on the other, they repel and push away. This is caused by the magnetic fields, some are in harmony, they fit each other, flow together, so they stick. Makes sense? Still following? Well, when electromagnetic fields are in contact with one another eventually they begin to share energy, they begin to flow the same way and get into harmony with one another. This sharing of properties is why you can make a paper clip or a nail into a magnet by rubbing a magnet on it. We all tried that in science class as kids, right?

Well... the same thing works with people. The electromagnetic field around the human heart is connected to that of the earth, which is then connected to the electromagnetic field of all of the other hearts.

EVERY HUMAN HEART ON THE EARTH IS CONNECTED TO ONE ANOTHER THROUGH THEIR ELECTRO MAGNETIC FIELDS. That's right. Our hearts, all hearts, every one on the planet, is literally connected. 

It goes further. Remember I was talking about making paper clip magnets? Well, the more you have contact with a person, the more you're around them, the more the electromagnetic fields in your hearts begin to act on and change each other. You begin to come into harmony with one another, you become connected. Anyone who's ever started hanging out with new people, and then started started saying a lot of the same things that these news friends do, movie quotes, terms, sayings, all that, even when those people aren't around know exactly what I'm talking about... it's the same thing.

In this way, every person that we come into contact with over our lives literally becomes a part of us. We literally become a part of them, through that connection in our hearts. 

So what the hell does this have to do with Soul Mates? Well I'll tell you....

Through something called Quantum Entanglement they know that once 2 particles are connected they begin to act the same ways. If you were to separate these particles, and say, send them through a maze, then no matter how far away you sent the particles they would make the same exact moves at the same exact time. Think about that maze, the separated particles would go the same way in the maze at the same exact time, even if they were in different mazes on the other side of the universe. This has been tested and found true every single time.

That's why twins are able to feel what the other one is going through even when they are in different cities and haven't spoken to each other. Twins are particles that were separated, split in two, during the child development process.

They have also discovered now that if you take all of the empty space out of the universe, the matter, the hard stuff, would all fit inside the space the size of a green pea. And at one time it did. Every single particle, every bit of everything that makes what all of us are, was once connected at one point. We are all still connected.

So lets go back to our hearts and that electromagnetic field. We spend time with someone and those fields come into harmony, alignment with one another. Our hearts are connected. We are then forever linked, and so even when we are no longer together the particles still make the same movements at the same time inside of the maze.

Now, one of the basic building blocks of all science is that energy can not be created nor destroyed. When we die the energy in our bodies simply changes form. Well.... they know that the human heart is the very first organ to develop. When I was conceived the energy of the universe went into making my heart first. When I die that energy will go into something else, and at times, it will go into making the heart of a new person long after I'm gone. This is all fact, it's how it works. There's no arguing the point. SO....

A thousand years ago a man and a woman fall in love... the electromagnetic fields of their hearts come into alignment, their particles are forever linked to make the same exact moves at the same exact time across all time and space. Because they are making the same moves at the same time on the atomic level, when one's energy flows back into the creation of another human heart, so does the other. Making the same moves, they find one another again, if only briefly, their hearts come into harmony once more, and the entire process starts over again. And every time those hearts come into alignment, every time the particles link, the field of energy is amplified, becomes stronger, and so does their link. So if after thousands of years of connecting over and over again.... and so there you have it. Soul Mates.

One thing that has to be remembered in all of this, however, is that "time" is purely a human concept. It doesn't not exist outside of the human experience and certainly not on the quantum level of energy. To your soul, the particles of energy buzzing around that electromagnetic field around your heart that's linked to the earth and every other heart, 5 seconds and 5 thousand years is the exact same thing. To the universe there is no difference. So you may find your soul mate during every one of your lifetimes or you only find them every thousand years. It also doesn't mean that they're going to be your lover, it could be your best friend, it could be your dog, or it could be your doppelganger on the other side of the planet. But your soul mate does exist.

I have a friend whom, the day we started talking, I had a dream about her. I saw what she looked like and exactly what she would be wearing a few hours before I even knew that she would be there. Over the years I've known her I would randomly send her messages about something, and it was exactly what she was thinking about, or exactly what she was feeling, or exactly what she needed to hear, so and and so forth. And many, many times now she would ask me how I did that, how I always know. Well, science now proves that its because our hearts are connected. This doesn't mean that we're soul mates, just that we have a particle link.

And every one of us has a similar link with other people. So just relax and let the Universe work its magic. It will all come into alignment when its ready, and not on our schedule.

Think about that for a while and get back at me.

Later People!

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant
Coach LaSota

Attraction is NOT a choice, Jello Wrastlin and controlling the frame....

This past week I've been listening to audiobooks while I'm at work, ripped through three this week. It's pretty awesome to be honest; I love to read but its hard to find the time. Now I feel like I read all day and get paid for it.

I just finished "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists" by Neil Strauss. It's depressing really, but what an incredible book. Basing an entire life on creating an illusion of greatness for other people will lead to an empty life every time. Sadder still, the game that these guys run works. Attraction is not a choice. And women cheat on their husbands and boyfriends at an alarming rate. Knowing that all it takes is a carefully constructed plan of action intermingled with some cheap parlor tricks wrapped up in a nice shirt and a smile makes it all the more ridiculous.

On the bright side, its all much clearer to me now that sex and relationships occupy two completely different slots in a woman's world. A woman will sleep with just about any guy that can make life seem like an adventure for a while. It takes something more to keep her. The terrifying part for the guy that wants to keep her is that she'll still go on an adventure from time to time.

I just heard more stories about chicks with boyfriends asking some guy she just met that night in a club to pop off in her mouth in the last three days than I ever wanted to hear in a lifetime. Of course, it doesn't help that it smacks right against my #1 fear.

My three worst fears in this order

1. Falling in love, getting married, having a few kids.... then finding out the kids aren't mine.
2. The prison rape scene in American History X
3. Ball Cancer

I encountered real life stories of two of the three just this week.... one of those stories was from a friend of mine who took it. Now I don't feel right even joking about it anymore. But.... I have a new hero.

Speaking of friends, my buddy Phatdaddy told me the other day that though it may sound strange because we haven't actually seen each other in fifteen years, he still feels the same about me as ever, that we're as close now at heart as we were back then.

I'm of the mind that relationships are eternal, that loves and friendships really do last forever; if it were up to me I'd still have every single person I once called a friend in my life. Some people just click so well together that fifty years can pass and they'll pick up right where they left off, as if no time has passed at all. And as if to prove it, my buddy Mike invited me to Jell-O Wrestling at the Double Down Saloon Saturday night, we hadn't seen each other in seventeen years and sure enough, it was like hanging with him in school all over again.

Funny, most of my friends are like that, the eternal type, the type that I'd click with after fifty years like nothing happened. You'll hear their names often, Scotty, Matt, Mike, Walt, Thaddeus, Phatdaddy, The Man... they're often contributors to this space and probably reading this. Give me ten of them over a hundred of those fake ass, fair weather turds any day. You know what you can do with that kind....

And that Jello wrestling was THE SHIT! Seriously, I've never experienced anything like that before. There was one pin fall in particular where a young lady with a nice body sat on her opponents chest and lay down, ala 69, and gave those of us in the right spot the full spread. EPIC!

That doesn't even get into the gorgeous woman in her underwear dancing in the window or the porn playing above the bar. It was just my kind of place, made all the better by good people and good friends. The wrastlin was a benefit for breast cancer; they were demonstrating how important it is to save breasts. Who doesn't love breasts? Even the ladies love breasts!

One nugget I came away with this week is that, whatever you have to say about him, Tom Cruise is THE MAN! Its his world and everyone else lives in it. Answer the poll to the right, because I'm curious about what you think. In NLP we have something we call framing, or the frame, which means the scope through which you see the world. Visualize a picture frame and the picture that's inside of it. If that were a window and you were watching things unfold, what's happening? The person that's in control of that scene, the one decides what's happening in that picture, they control the frame. The way the see things is the way its happening and everyone else has to fit it. It's their world and we live in it.

Most people react to how everyone else sees the world. Alpha's, all alpha's, male or female, business men or pick up artists, priests or politicians, slobs or movie stars, what sets them apart from the rest is how they look at that picture of the world; they control the frame. Tom Cruise is an alpha among alpha's without even trying. He always controls the frame. That's what makes him the man, its his world, his reality, and everyone else just lives in it, has to fit in.

One more thing I learned.....

We're all movie stars.... even the slobs.

We're all slobs.... especially the movie stars.

Later People!

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

And if you need a healthy helping hand from a Personal Performance Consultant
Coach LaSota

The KEY TO SUCCESS IS RIGHT IN HERE.... if you read it...

I wish I knew who had left that first anonymous comment on last Friday's post. It seems as if a friend of mine is in pain and I can't see who it is. If I can't see it then there's nothing that I can do to help, and they don't feel they can go to anyone with the issue. That is my failing.

One of the basic premises that the work I'm now getting into is built upon is that we all already know the answers that we're looking for. The problem is that we either can't see it because we're asking ourselves the wrong questions, or we're too scared to answer those questions. Very often all it takes is someone talk to, someone to bounce things off of, and we reach the conclusions on our own. I had witnessed that very thing with a friend of mine just this weekend, to beautiful results.

Isn't it a shame then that so often we can't find anyone to sit and listen long enough, or that we feel comfortable enough with without fear of being judged, to allow us to do that? Most of the time most of us are so in love with our own voices, or the importance we feel by doling out advice, that we're thinking of our answer before we even listen to what they're saying. Take a second right now and consider if you do that. I know you have before; I've caught myself doing it too.

My "job", when it's done right, is to simply do that, sit back and keep my mouth shut and just let you vent. Then, when you hit a roadblock or don't want to push passed a barrier in your thinking I give a little nudge in the right direction. There are a lot of techniques that I had to train in, sure, a lot of different ways to get you there, but ultimately we all have to figure it out for ourselves.

Another of the presuppositions of my field (heh, my field), the very first one, is that communication is constant. Every one of us is literally communicating with everyone around us everyone else every single moment. We just don't know it. Hell, half the time we think we're saying one thing while our body or our energy is saying another. Then every one else in the room is picking up a completely different message based on whatever madness they're afflicted with.

Have you ever complimented someone and they flipped out on you? Then you had to step back and look around with a stupid look on your face and all you could think was WTF? Yeah, I know you have because people are nuts. And I know you've done it to someone because you're nuts too. We all are. Well... that's why.

Another thing we all do, or have done, is to get overly self conscious when we think we've said or done something embarrassing. When we're nervous we swear everyone in the room knows it, like they smell it or something. How the hell do you not see my hands shaking? This exact thing keeps so many of us from saying or doing or trying the things that we really want to do, because of that paranoid sense that "they know!".

The flip side to that is that we also think that everyone should be able to tell when there's something going on with us. And if they don't we grunt, whine, fidget, cross our arms and huff, pout, and all manner of other business to call attention to ourselves. Then if that doesn't work we get angry or hurt. We think we're alone or no one cares about us. Often, if this goes on consistently for long stretches, we get trapped by that, w begin to feel we have no one we can turn to, or we lock it away so tightly that we can't or are afraid to let it out.

And even when they do notice somethings off, what do we do? "Forget it! You should know!" How many times has someone done that to you? How many times have you done it?

We're constantly caught between that rock and that hard place; between the assumption that everyone is noticing our insecurities laid bare before them and the frustration and sensitivities that they don't. But they never do.

And why don't people ever notice? Because 99% of the world is thinking about themselves. And even when we think of others, its in terms of what we want or how it affects us. That's not to talk bad about people, I do it too, and so you if you're honest about it. Its human nature. It's survival instinct. Its also why 1% of the world has most of the money. Which 1% do you suppose that is?

Our only real option then is to come right out and say it. Then, of course, you have the issue I always did, as my dear mother always said, "it's not what you say but how you say it."

Anthony Robbins has made a career on the premise that "The quality of your communication is the quality of your life". And according to Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people" 15% of success is based on talent; 85% is from how well you talk to and get along with other people. Its not the guy who has the best idea or does the best work, its the one who gets that idea across to other or gets people behind them, to lift them up, that gets to the top of the mountain.

Its those people that raise us up, that believe in us, our support system, that gets us to where we're going. Those are our ambassadors, the ones who spread the word for us, in turn get their people to believe in us too without our having to ask them. That's mostly because they can't help but gush about us.

Here's the irony of it all; you know how I said 99% of the world is always thinking about themselves? If that's true then why would they gush about us? Because the people who drip with excitement most thinking about us are the ones that WE gush over the most... to them!

Of course, the key is that you can't be full of shit. You can't do it geared towards what you're looking to get out of them; people smell bullshit from a mile away. But if you show genuine enthusiasm for someone else and who they are, what they do, then you fill them with a sense of importance. And every time they think of you thereafter they associate you and what you're doing with that same sense of importance. The more you matter, then the more they matter.

I'm famous for rubbing people the wrong way. It happened again just Saturday night, and so I've begun to look back and review all the ways to communicate better. You who read this know my heart better than most, but if you were to meet me in public without having done so would never know that this is how I really am. You would believe the exact opposite of me, that I'm a horrible human being. And that's the challenge facing us all.

You good people have taught me though that its in bearing my soul and making myself completely vulnerable that I show my true strength. But many of you have yet to learn that for yourselves, and fear can trap our souls behind a wall of pain.

Most of us are wrapped up in our own shit, too much to notice yours. But that doesn't mean that we don't care. So please, please, to my anonymous commenter, and everyone else, don't be afraid, come right out and say it. Tell me what's up and free yourself.

Or in the immortal words of Ronald Reagan
"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

Later people!