The BEST story I've heard all week!

I wanted to start with this yesterday, but considering the title and topic I was going with I felt it would send the exact opposite message that I was going for about someone I so far think is fantastic, which proves I don't have my head completely up my own ass, but hey, everyone loves their own brand, right?

SO..... A couple of weeks ago I had mentioned that I went to the Bitter End in the village to see Emily Forst play when a pianist came on that blew my socks off. I had no reason to stay at that point of the night except to experience how phenomenal this artist was; she kept my ass in the chair even when I had planned to leave, which is the most ringing endorsement I think I can give to anyone. Well, her name is Nisha Asnani and there's no way you should let the chance to check her out for yourself pass you by. The link I have here, if you click on her name, will bring you to a place you can do that. And did I mention she's also pretty hot?

I've been talking about movies and celebrities a lot in the last few days, which won't always be the case, but yesterday I had gotten into Britney Spears and how she is now the leading lady in my train wreck of life hall of fame. I had to get into that because with all of the shitty remakes of movies that were only made 20 years ago and still so fresh in your memory that you can recite every line from them, and the ever popular ensemble cast flik full of decrepit former action stars that always just sucked to begin with, I think Hollywood is missing a tremendous opportunity to make a box office killing with the greatest ensemble film every conceptualized.

Now, the reason that there's no originality (or good movies) coming out these days is because YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT and pay good money to see the shit that they're pumping out. Then I have to hear how much you liked some trash version of the same flik you saw as a kid with asshole's who can't act like it's your kid's god damned high school play version of War Games (just one of many remakes on the horizon that will make me want to chain the theater doors, with you inside, and LIGHT THE PLACE ON FIRE!).

But what if we gathered together a crew of real fuck-ups, the sort of lunatic that we just can't stop talking about, and threw them into a story that makes celebrity rehab look like the fuckin Brady Bunch? Much like our leading actress Britney, it would be a beautiful disaster, the A-Team meets the Dream Team! With all the shitheads out there to choose from, you really can't go wrong, but my crew couldn't be beat! Who would I go with? EASY!

HOWLING MAD

The list begins and ends with Gary Busy. Who the hell else could you possibly consider? Finding a Busey crazy picture wasn't the problem, it was picking which one.

FACEMAN

"What are you in for? Drugs". All I can say is GIVE EM' THE HEATER RICKY! Have you ever seen Navy Seals? I swear Charlie Sheen was only playing him self in that.

B.A.



Nordberg! What can I say, maybe I took the easy way out on this one, but he brings his own Dream Team

But all these crazies in the same room, on the same suicide mission could go wildly out of control. What we need is a strong leader, someone who can unquestionably take the reigns and do the impossible. Who is need is....

HANNIBAL

None other than drunken Jew hating, wife beating Mel Gibson! How can you fuck with Braveheart? This patriot's going to go Lethal Martin Riggs on your ass! I love it when a plan comes together!

So now you see why I needed Britney, afterall, how can you bring it all together with out strong female lead? Come to think of it, maybe Spears isn't strong enough to hang with these nutsacks, maybe she's not off enough to hold her own. I was wrong yesterday; for the first time I'm really feeling the loss of Amy Winehouse.

THE BEST STORY I'VE HEARD ALL WEEK!

The news report said he was the puppy no one wanted, his brothers and sisters were all adopted ahead of him, the last one picked. That just makes it even better, and a great example for a lot of us. No matter what anyone else thinks of us, even those of us no one wants are capable of something great just by being themselves.

Alright fuckface, this has carried on long enough already, and I have to get back to work. Try not to suck too much dick on your way to the parking lot!

Later!