Earthquakes, Hurricane Irene, 2012 and the end of the World!

First it was the non-stop daily thunderstorms that were beginning to make it look like the biblical floods, then an earthquake that shook the entire east coast, and now we're bracing ourselves for Hurricane Irene which will be barreling through shortly. All of this has seemed to make us forget the long, long winter that dumped snow storm after snow storm on top of us, covering everything in pearly white (or black and yellow here in the city), not to mention that tornados have touched down in the city, and the tsunamis and earthquakes that are killing people in record numbers across the planet. So here it is folks, 2012, end of the world baby.

The real question now is how do you think we're going to go out?

Do you think it's going to be like the John Cusack 2012 flik where the planet goes apeshit all at the same time, ripping the earth apart? That scene with tornados destroying L.A. was really cool, but the rest of the movie pretty much sucked.

Or do you think it's going to be like The Day After Tomorrow and everything north of the Mason Dixon line is going to freeze in a matter of days, wiping us all out? That's probably a better movie than I originally gave it credit, but my only real knock against it was, for a disaster movie, they didn't show enough people dying. And it had one of those messages about the planet. Look, there are more people in earth than any other time in history, probably more than are supposed to be here. People exhale carbon dioxide. If what they say about global warming is true and carbon emissions are to blame, the very act of 7 Billion people breathing will do just as much damage as anything else.

On a side note, one of the co-stars of that movie, the very hot, very sexy Emmy Rossum, gets naked and gets nailed on nearly every episode of Showtimes Shameless. If you haven't seen that show you have no idea what you're missing; it's probably the best show in TV.

But how can we forget about asteroids? Are we in for an Armageddon, destined to go out just like the dinosaurs? You'll hear me say this over and over again, but that movie is the EXACT reason why everything completely sucks these days; a sheer lack of standards. Bruce Willis and his band of outlaw drillers go into space to save the planet from total annihilation. Yeah, right; how far into lift off do you think the fat guy gets before his heart explodes in his chest? Get the hell out of here. And people were saying at the time it was the greatest movie they had ever seen, which tells you all you need to know about what the people have to say.

And it also tells you all you need to know about why Jerry Bruckheimer sucks! If I see one more slow motion walk I'm going to puke. If you didn't know, Team America World Police was made to rip that clown apart. Deep Impact, starring Morgan Freeman and Frodo was a much better, much more realistic movie dealing with the same issue and got completely swept aside by morons.

As much as Bruckheimer sucks ass, I think Tony Scott has to be my favorite director outside of Cameron Crowe. Last night I caught "Unstoppable" on HBO and I was caught on the edge on my seat for the entire ride; not easy to do with a chain chasing a train. Everytime he and Denzel Washington hook up on a project it's always something entertaining. Just look at the list of fliks Scott has directed, Unstoppable, Taking of Pelham 123, Deja Vu, Man on Fire, Spy Game, Enemy of the State, The Fan, Crimson Tide, True Romance, The Last Boyscout, Days of Thunder and Top Gun.

Tony Scott should do an end of the world movie! Denzel can save us all!

Regardless of the situation I think it's about time each of us came up with a plan for what we'd do if it all went bad. It's something we used to discuss on a regular basis in my good ole garage days in Vegas, but it's something we should probably keep in mind all the time. What do you do? Where do you go? Who do you try to save? And finally... one of my favorite thoughts that I like to plan for more than I do for when it all goes bad... how do we re-populate the species!

I know I have my list of who I'm going to save.... they're all on that re-populate list... you know, because you should always try to kill 2 birds with 1 stone.... Emmy Rossum is definitely on it...

AMERICA! F... well, I'll let you finish the rest.

Later People!