WHY WE TREAT EACH OTHER LIKE CRAP: your situation and your past matter

I have to admit to being distracted this morning; two nights in the past three I dreamt of two women who are no longer in my life, one who was my muse, my inspiration, and the other the ex girlfriend that had done so much damage to me when she left me. They were so vivid and lifelike that I was there, and I've learned enough about the subconscious mind and how the universe is all connected over the past few years to know that something is going on just outside of my understanding.

I am a scientist. It's funny to think sometimes, especially for those of you who know me, but all the same, I am a scientist. While I say some things that many find outrageous and often fight me over, hate me over, nonetheless those things I say as fact as based on years of both research and observation. There are two facts that can not be avoided or discredited no matter who you are. One is that every person everywhere, even scientists, sees the world based on preconceived notions based on their previous knowledge and experience. Basically, the things you think you know and the experiences that you've had before focus what you see in the world around you in every situation moving into the future.

Take a look at this picture and tell me what you see. It's just a blob of spots, right? Be honest.

Now take a look at the picture again and tell me if you see the Dalmatian sniffing the ground in the middle of the picture. OH MAN, something that you didn't notice before magically appears before your eyes now, doesn't it. It's almost impossible NOT to see the dog now that you already know it's there, huh?

Many times people have tried to fight with me over issues of the past, stating that the past doesn't matter. However, with the way that our brains learn, there is simply no separation between your past experiences and every action you take, or how those past experiences shape your future. In fact, until you know exactly how your past affects you in the now there is no other single factor which affects who you, how you perceive things, and how you act accordingly, more.

What do you see here?

Beautiful young Lady or decrepit old woman?

The other truth that you absolutely can not deny is that your situation in life, where you find yourself, really does matter every time. Those of us that are living the life that we want to live and are happy with our current situations will always see the positive, while those who are not, those who are struggling or oppressed, will invariably pick up on the things that are wrong and appear negative until that life situation changes.

As people we love to think of ourselves as being above the animals, however, when you keenly observe the animals in the world its plainley obvious how we act the same way. Take for instance the next few pictures that I took from the Central Park Zoo.

No, I didn't photoshop the look on his face, he's relaxing, taking in some sun

Look at how happy he is, he's got the whole place to himself, no worries

I think I'll got for a dip in the pool.

Now take a look at these three. They're well aware that people are looking at them, trying their best to hide away. There's a big turd sitting right in the middle of the shot, the guy on the right has to turn his head in embarrassment.

This big guy isn't turning his head though, he's living in the lap of luxury

He's got everything just the way he wants it, nothing to worry about

On the other hand, look at this here. I don't know if there can me a more classic picture of New York. He has to eat his food off the floor surrounded by filth and garbage. Pigeons run around stealing from him. The hard concrete and the heat pouring off of it can't feel good on his feet, and while all he wants to do is graze in a nice field, here he is strapped to a heavy cart having to break his back hauling people around.

You should take a walk around Central Park if you can and just try to catch a glimpse of these horses. I have never in my life seen animals so miserable as these poor guys. It's enough to make you never even consider taking a ride.

Here's a guy lying on a park bench, he's reading, relaxing, enjoying his day. This might be someone you would talk to, find out what he's reading if the mood strikes you, right?



Here's another guy lying on a park bench. Does he look as happy? Would you be so eager to find out what he's up to?

No matter who you are or where your situation in life means all the difference. And socially, the way that you're looked upon and treated by others, it matters even more. When someone is the life of the party everyone wants to be around them, they all want a piece, because that improves their situation too. "Hey, this guy is GREAT!"

Yet when they're down on their luck and things aren't going well it's too much effort to be around them because that would be work, that would make others lives harder to lift them up. "Eh, they're a pain in the ass, no fun at all, why would I want to bother with them.

But here's the separation that leads to nearly every social problem we have, and brings us full circle; that past which shapes our lives, how we see the world, and our actions as a result, only matter to us, because others can't see things through our eyes, only their own, and only a select few care to even try.

As my favorite writer Kurt Vonnegut once said "Hooray for Firemen, Sons of bitches that they are in their daily lives, they run into a fire and they're a hero."

It doesn't matter that the guy throwing that rooftop party come from a rich family that bought his expensive rooftop apartment for him. It doesn't matter if he's ever had to suffer the weight of the world on his shoulders. What he stands for, how in acts in times of need, whether or not he looks his nose down on those less fortunate, or if he'll fight for you when the chips are down makes no difference. He throws a great party, he's always a good time, he has all the connections I need to get me where I want to go... he's awesome! (even if he pisses off that roof onto the people going to work every morning, hey, he's not pissing on me)

It doesn't matter that he dropped out of school at 16 to help his mother raise and support the rest of the huge, poor family he had come from after his Dad left her. He's too serious all the time, not enough fun, has no connections and has nothing I want. That guy's no good, why would I want to bother with him?

Yet the past does matter. We take everything that's happened to us before and use that to shape what we do tomorrow. The guy with the rooftop who's had everything come easily will always expect everything to come easily, and it usually does. The guy who's had to give everything up and scratch and claw for everything he has will always see the struggle involved just to keep going through each day, and they usually struggle.

"For every thousand men hacking at the leaves of evil there is but one striking at the root" Henry David Thoreau said. We all do the best we can, make what we believe are the best decisions based on what we know, to try to live a good life. But many, many people simply don't know or can't see how to actually get there. Not unless someone shows them how.

But most people are busy looking for the life of the party. We're all looking for the people who can make our lives better, even when the people they are at heart aren't worth the time of day. Many times we fail to see how we can make other's lives better, even when they're such good people, and only lack the light to show them the way. And then we justify our actions, our own failure in seeing the right things in people by saying "The past doesn't matter" or "it makes no difference what situation you're in".

It's a Social Psychological truth and scientific fact, yes they DO matter.

Our lives are enriched by the REAL people in them. How are you going to make the world a better place? The real difference you can make is in how you treat the people who are in your life every day, not the ones already at the top of the mountain.

Later People!