It Goes Both Ways....

It's funny to me to see the things that people choose to pick out.

And I love a good debate, especially when its off of something that I said. Sometimes I'll say something I don't believe one bit just to see how people will argue against it. So when I got an Anonymous comment last night on my piece "It Doesn't Matter" I thought it was the perfect thing to get me going this morning.

"Maybe the girl is tired of nailing the guy too.. It's a two way street bro!!" is what Anonymous had to say, which I can only figure had to be in response to my comment "show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of nailing her." Again, out of that entire piece this one line, which barely had anything to do with what was being said, is the one thing Anonymous picked out of all of it. Funny how that works out.

But maybe Anonymous is right. Maybe the girl is tired of nailing the guy too. Maybe.

Maybe she's so good in bed that no guy EVER gets tired of nailing her. That statement can go weather she's hot or looks like a dump truck. And maybe she's so bad in bed that they get tired before finishing and just leave. That could be no matter what she looks like too. Maybe. And the same goes for guys, maybe he's so bad every woman he brings home walks out before it gets started. Maybe he's so good he has a reputation for it and the ladies line up. Maybe.

Of course, Anonymous is certainly right. It definitely goes both ways.

I've had women that can't stand me continue to have sex with me because I was able to turn them on so much, even after they decided not to sleep with me again, that for days afterward they would ask over and over what it was that I did to them to turn them on so much. I've had women who were like my best friend completely cut me off after deciding I was terrible in bed, which is what led me to learn so much of what I have about how to please a woman in the first place. And I still have a lot to learn. So even with the same person it goes both ways.

I tend to get loud, go crazy, say and do outrageous over the top things and make a spectacle of myself in general when I'm out there having a good time. Some people love me for it, others hate me and can't get far enough away fast enough. Same guy, same actions, same circumstance, opposite reaction depending on who you ask. It goes both ways.

Any time you make any general statements, statements like "Show me a hot woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of nailing her" then it is certainly bound to go both ways.

If you tried to apply anything of that sort to everyone across the board every time then of course its going to be ridiculous if it were ever meant to be taken that way. But at the same time, every single one of us out there has someone that got tired of hanging out with us. Or tired of sleeping with us. Or tired of dealing with us in some capacity or other, no matter how cool we are, how interesting, how good looking, how good in bed.... that's relationships; that's life. So the statement is still true. Even if it's only happened once, if it's only one person, it's still true.

In Social Science something only has to happen 65% of the time for it to become stereotypical behavior. That's not a lot, and it does leave open a lot of chance for that outcome not to be the case. But it's still 2/3 of the vote, a solid majority. So when people say that stereotypes aren't true, well, a large percentage of the time they're right, but the MAJORITY of the time, 2/3 of the time, the stereotype IS true. A solid majority of actually real life experience says that this is the way that it is, so it IS TRUE... most of the time. Not all of the time, but most of the time, which is why stereotypes do and always will exist.

But its also why its so important to take each person, each situation, on a case by case basis. The stereotype of a person, place or thing might serve to protect you, and are good to keep in mind for that purpose, but I've always felt and say it all the time, "You judge the man by the man."

If you consistently read my blog or know me personally then you also know that this is exactly how I am and exactly how I feel. I'll throw out how things "typically" are in a social science sense as a basis for a grounds of discussion, but also looking for how this time its different.

I don't know who Anonymous is, and its obvious when you throw things out there like "Maybe the girl is tired of nailing the guy too.. It's a two way street bro!!" that you're trying to learn me something, or prove some point, when the statement is obviously taken out of context. You're not making a profound statement. You're not proving yourself right or me wrong.

My blogs are often written from a guys point of view because I'm a guy. But almost anything in them can be taken as "going both ways" or "a two way street". I can probably find an example for you to prove both sides every single time. And I've gone to great lengths time and again to make sure its known where I stand on these things... firmly in the middle. Most of the time, unless I get too personally, emotionally involved in something, I take a scientists angle to these things. I observe and record the observations, along with the mountains of research that's always out there if you're not too lazy to find it. Then I say "This is how it is" because stereotypically, the majority of the time, that's the truth. But please, show me how I'm wrong, and please please show me how you're different.

If I live for anything, I live for the people who are different. Who in life is better than the people who prove the stereotypes wrong? Especially when you're talking about proving deeply rooted social pressured stereotypes wrong, like the smoking hotty who can have any guy she wants choosing the broke guy because she actually loves him. We write books and songs and movies about these things because they're special. And they're special because they rarely happen. They rarely happen because it's human nature to go with the crowd, which is what makes it so difficult to actually be different against the tide of the social world, and why people stand out so much when they do.

This isn't my opinion, its science.

Besides the fact that, the statement "show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of nailing her." has never once been a shot against women or anyone else at any time. What that says is that no matter how great a person appears to be on the outside, we're all just people. We all put our pants on the same way, we all have similar problems and emotions, we've all had diarrhea and nasty things coming out of us same as anyone else. No matter how hot or rich or famous or anything else a person is, they're still a person the same way you are, so treat them as one. That means not putting them on any pedestal.

I love when people throw comments out at you coming off as high and mighty when they don't even take the time to think about what's being said, where they come from, or what they actually mean. They do it just to sound good.

And finally, and this is a lesson to all people about everything you do. Anonymous comments have no credibility what so ever. They're akin to yelling out threats in the middle of a crowd but zipping the lips when its one on one. If you don't have the conviction to put your name to your words and stand behind what you claim to believe then those words carry no weight.

My name is out there on every one of my posts. I stand behind what I say. And if I'm wrong I try my best to either explain what I meant or admit that I was wrong once I realize my mistake. Its called accountability.

That being said, I'm wrong all the time. But show me how so I can make myself a better person, don't hide behind the anonymous bush hurling stones where it can't come back at you and then act like some sort of sage for it. I have to be accountable for what I say. That's the price you pay for what I do.

I know it was you Fredo!

If everyone used that same method of accounability, if everyone stood behind what they say or do and stood up and said, yeah, that was me, and had the balls to face the consequences... or just the ability to discuss things further to come to a better understanding.... the world would be a much different place then wouldn't it?

That's a two way street too..... bro!!

Later People.

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