Showing posts with label escaped peacock. Show all posts
Showing posts with label escaped peacock. Show all posts

November 7, 2011

Can Peacocks fly with broken wings? I'm talkin broken arms and broken legs....

I don't know, but we're about to find out.

After all the seriousness in last weeks posts I wanted to do something fun today, but then I went and Matsuied myself, broke my wrist. Typing with one hand is as much a pain in the ass as most other things with one hand, like opening a door while holding my coffee, so we'll have to see how this goes.


That's Hideki Matsui, he was without a doubt my favorite Yankee, hell, favorite ballplayer, after Paul O'Neil retired. The guy just knew how to play the game, did everything right, great teammate, and talk about CLUTCH.... but he was never the same again after this play. That was a nasty one, and what I did to myself was very similar.


I don't think I made nearly as big a deal about it as Albert Pujols here, thought I took it better, but the guys will have to tell you if that's true or not. I knew it was broken right away, and my buddy Dave said he could hear it snap. Its completely possible that I was crying like a little girl that just lost her candy. After all, I am a notorious whiner.


This is basically what my arm looked like. Do you see how the hand is pushed off of the wrist, as if the only thing keeping it attached is the skin and ligaments? I had the same exact thing, except for me the appendage was the other way, the hand was on the back side of the arm, hanging off.


You see her pointing to that mangled mess? She's a trooper! This was more the position I was in. Behind the arm. Looks like she's got something breaking the skin though, sticking out. Mine was a clean break, and thank God for it. Have you ever been in so much pain that all you could do was laugh? That laugh of the insane, the one that only crazy people have. Well... I had everyone at the hospital cracking up. And don't you love how, in a spot about maimed body parts I'm able to get you a nice rack thrown in there?



You know you wanted half naked ladies thrown in there, so here you g... what? These aren't the half naked ladies you were looking for? I don't get it, looks like a party to me. This came up in my Google search for broken wrists. I keep telling you about the craziness that pops up on there. I think they meant to post this under slit wrists, as in what you're going to do after seeing this shot. I have one of those too, slit wrist. Its the same damn arm.


Here you go, this is more fitting, isn't it? This was another one that came up in that same search. That probably comes from all us sad sacks that know these ladies are out there, that they ARE all partying together.... that they're all dressed just like this... and we're never invited to the party. We get the ladies up top instead. The difference is enough to make a guy do something drastic, isn't it? My only real question is.... it says "pink" over an over again.... exactly what is it that they're advertising?



We'll dedicate more time to the ladies tomorrow. I got to check out my X-Rays... and this is essentially what I had going on in there. You see that back forearm bone broken off.... yeah, that's it. Jamaica Hospital has gotten a really bad rep over the years, but I have to say, every single person working there was GREAT! I hate hospitals, and they made me feel as comfortable as possible, even got me a great shot of my X-Ray. I'll throw that bad boy up as soon as I'm able.


And at least there's nothing like this going on in there. How completely disgusting is this? When the Doc tells you that you're going to need pins in your wrist you're not supposed to put them in there yourself you dumbass!


Do you honestly believe that this woman is worried about ANYTHING knowing that a friend like this has her back? HELL NO she doesn't! And neither should this Peacock. After they scraped me off the field my teammates really picked me up; they went all out like a pack of rabid animals and kicked that teams brains in. We're talking championship here baby, me Matsuied or not. And Topper is coming through to make sure you good people still get to read my blog day in and day out while I recover, because this typing with one hand nonsense is beat.


But I've got to get back out there as soon as I can, and I can't think of any better way to speed up the healing process than a female Peacock to come share my roost. I wonder if she's available. I'd find a way to fly after her broken wing or not. Let's make it so! I'm wounded here, I need some looking after, and this is only fair. After all.... I deserve it don't I?

But that's all I've got for today. And the drugs are wearing off... so....

Later People!



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August 3, 2011

Peacocks DO fly! And.... it could always be worse.

Look at what I started! Maybe it's just the Reticular Activating System, but Peacocks are everywhere, and they're running wild!



This guy escaped from the Central Park Zoo the other day to perch himself up on a 5th floor window in Manhattan. Don't be the only one left on the block. Come hide with the herd and float with the flock....

I can't say what's going on with me, but I've been a special kind of asshole lately, snapping for no reason, getting on people's asses, it's not good. Whatever it is I constantly have to remind myself that it could always be worse. Now, I am a certified life coach and NLP practitioner, so I've done countless hours of research on positive thinking and all of that, and I do believe in it to an extent, but part of that is also appreciating what you have. Years ago I had gotten majorly depressed and lost about 35 pounds in a 2 week span, probably could have gotten really sick. What got me out of it was watching episodes of Party of Five, where every week Charlie got ball cancer or Neve Campbell got pregnant by some random stranger... or Scott Wolf found himself torn between smoking hot Amanda Beckett (Jennifer Love HugeTits) or that little boy he's had his eye on, and listening to The Cure over and over again.



Of course, if any of my buddies had come down into my basement dungeon apartment at the time and seen what I was up to they would have burned me on that. "Dude, what the fuck are you watching? And who the hell is crying on the radio? No wonder you want to kill yourself!" Still though, every week I would look at those people and say to myself, shit, it could always be worse... I could have ball cancer. And it's been a philosophy I've tried (though not always successfully) to keep in mind as I bang through life's daily bullshit.


That Lacy Chabert got really
fuckin hot, huh?


 Speaking of being that special kind of asshole, I was watching chicks fight again last night, MMA this time, if you can call it that. This one had a really hot body, and kept getting into these ridiculous positions that made you want to grab your shit. But every time she picked her head up her face looked like Warwick Davis.


I can't say there's anything about the idea of banging Willow that gets me hard. Could you imagine being in the middle of it with her, she looks up at you, lust in her eyes screaming "You ARE great!". I wouldn't know whether to shit or wind my watch.


But no matter what you're going through you always have to think about the things that you do have, and if that still has you sitting on the couch with your head in your hands like the Great Al Birdy crying "Oh God, I can't wake up!" remember... you could always be this guy!



And if that doesn't work just be happy that you don't have ball cancer. And if you DO have ball cancer, just be happy that it's not cock cancer. And if you've got cock cancer, accentuate the positive...

"Ah shit dude, you got Cock Cancer? That fucking sucks"
"Maybe so, but look of the SIZE of this thing now"

You see, it's just one big world of shit, and we're all wrapped up in it. There aint nobody clean! So it's all about making the best of a shitty situation, like this guy



Or maybe that's a woman, I can't tell. But it's a nice sunny day, she's got herself a seat in the shade, relaxing, and enjoying herself a beer. What more could a fella possibly want out of life? But if that's not enough for you, you're day can't possibly be worse than this guy's in the video you're about to watch and absolutely HAVE to see...



All I can say is better him than me. Shit, I don't know about you, but my day just got a whole hell of a lot better.

Special thanks to Scotty and Robinson for all of your help with today's post. As my closest friend from college so beautifully put it... you'll always be that special kind of asshole to me!

Don't be the only one left on the block
Hide with the herd
Float with the flock

Later people!